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Things I Have Learned From Watching Dallas...

Discussion in 'Soap Games' started by Kimmekap, May 7, 2008.

  1. Kimmekap

    Kimmekap Active Member

    Just like on the main Dallas forum, spoof things you learned or were taught by watching Dallas. I used this one on the Dallas forum...

    Example: If you screw your sister's husband make sure you get pregnant so you can shoot the bastard & get away with it while living comfortably in California...

    STD's are immune to anyone with the last name Ewing.

    Having underage sex in the hayloft is ok as long as you are with your half-uncle...
  2. Vote4Cliff

    Vote4Cliff Well-Known Member

    I learned one boob is better than none.
  3. Kimmekap

    Kimmekap Active Member

    You can switch mansions without your family, ranch hands or the cows noticing...
  4. one mighty hobble

    one mighty hobble New Member

    Never buy something from a guy named Al "The Pal" Holliday.
  5. Kimmekap

    Kimmekap Active Member

    Everybody in Dallas stays thin by washing away fat with vodka or bourbon.
  6. Vote4Cliff

    Vote4Cliff Well-Known Member

    Don't ever piss off Miss Ellie when she is anywhere near the hall closet.
  7. Kimmekap

    Kimmekap Active Member

    If I had Lucy's luck with men, I would either be a nun or a lesbian or a lady with lots of cats...
  8. Vote4Cliff

    Vote4Cliff Well-Known Member

    You can still be popular with the ladies even with a dorky name like Clifford Willard Barnes.
  9. Kimmekap

    Kimmekap Active Member

    I learned if you hand JR a $1 dollar bill he will laugh at you, if you had a $1 dollar bill to Cliff Barnes then you can eat Chinese food for a week...
  10. Vote4Cliff

    Vote4Cliff Well-Known Member

    I learned if you have sex with JR you have to fake it, but if you have sex with Cliff they'll hear ya screaming all the way down to San Angelo ;)
  11. Kimmekap

    Kimmekap Active Member

    The thread is what you've learned not what you have fantasies about... :p
  12. one mighty hobble

    one mighty hobble New Member

    It's rude to sell your daughter for $100.
  13. Kimmekap

    Kimmekap Active Member

    Throwing your sister-in-law off the balcony will stop her from meddling in your marriage...
  14. Scarlett

    Scarlett Well-Known Member

    Pregnancy really does keep you from prison.
  15. kygirl

    kygirl New Member

    You can rewrite your own history any time its convenient
  16. Kimmekap

    Kimmekap Active Member

    Just because your ashes are found or your plane crashed or your car blew up, you're never really dead & make sure you return with style...
  17. Vote4Cliff

    Vote4Cliff Well-Known Member

    The hat check room at the Oil Baron's Club must be huuuuugggggeee to accomodate all those 10 gallon stetsons that Dora Mae is always taking from Texas businessmen.
  18. Scarlett

    Scarlett Well-Known Member

    You can't go to a Ewing barbeque without seeing someone land in the pool - you just can't.
  19. one mighty hobble

    one mighty hobble New Member

    You can pronounce the names of the hired help any way you want when you're rich.
  20. Scarlett

    Scarlett Well-Known Member

    Finding a job is easy when you have the Ewing influence backing you.

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