Dallas in the 90's

Discussion in 'Dallas Writers Room' started by Karin Schill, Oct 13, 2016.

  1. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Thank you for the feedback on my story everyone. :)

    Ms Southworth, good that you enjoyed the morning scene of Christopher's birthday. :)
    Yeah I wish everyone could be surrounded by that much love on their special day.

    Sanda, I'm glad you like that Lucy & Mitch made up and also the morning scene.

    Okay so it's time for an update and since I won't be posting tomorrow you'll get a double treat tonight:


    At the Anderson’s house were Lucas and Kurt eating potatoes chips as they were playing a video game with race cars in it. Lucas car crossed the finish line first and Lucas jumped up and started screaming, “Yeah, I win, I win!”

    “You sure did,” Kurt smiled. “So how about a break to eat some cookies and ice-cream before you’ll give me a rematch?”

    “You’ve got chocolate chip cookies?”

    “You’ve got it.”

    “Cool I’d love some,” Lucas smiled.

    “Okay good, let’s go into the kitchen then.” Lucas and Kurt walked into the kitchen. Kurt put forward the cookies and ice-cream and at the same time he pressed down the record button of his tape recorder. Next he joined Lucas at the table and asked, “So are you ready to tell me what’s happened at home lately?”

    “Sure Kurt, just one question, when am I gonna get that officer Lucas car you’ve promised me?”

    “Soon kid, as soon as I’m paid for the publication, you’ll get your car!”

    “What’s publication?”

    “Oh don’t worry your little head about it. Now what’s going on with that aunt of yours?”

    “She’s getting a divorce. I don’t know the details,” Lucas revealed. “Her husband lives in Mexico and he’s a bad person…” Lucas went on telling Kurt everything he wanted to know about his family.
     
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  2. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    At Southfork, out on the patio was Christopher’s birthday dinner well on the way. Around a big table were Miss Ellie, Clayton, Christopher, Bobby, Pam, Rebecca, JR, Sue Ellen, John Ross, Donna, Ray, Margaret, Lucy, Mitch, Afton, Becky and Cliff seated. They were just finishing their barbeque dinner. JR and Cliff glared at each other over the table, as did Sue Ellen and Afton. The tension in the air was quite thick. JR said in a quiet voice to Sue Ellen, “I can’t believe that Barnes has the nerve to show up here every single year for Christopher’s birthday!”

    “And I can’t believe he had the bad taste in bringing that slut!” Sue Ellen glared at Afton, who was busy talking to Mitch.

    “I’m just as surprised as you are,” JR said. “I didn’t think they got along!”

    “Well what won’t you do for your child,” Sue Ellen said, looking at John Ross who was happily talking to Christopher.

    “So are we going into town tomorrow to exchange some of all those gifts your mama bought you?” John Ross asked.

    Christopher sighed, “I can’t believe she got me a Ninja Turtles pajamas, I mean that was so 1990!”

    “I know,” John Ross rolled his eyes. “Or how about that pocket computer game, I haven’t played with those in years!”

    “Yeah those cars are so boring!” Christopher agreed when Teresa came out of the house with a big chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and fourteen candles on it.

    “Wow! That’s a big cake!” Becky exclaimed.

    Rebecca looked at the cake before she said nonchalantly, “It’s nothing special. I get one of those every year for my birthday parties!”

    “What a surprise,” Ray said sarcastically and some of the other adults smiled knowingly since it was obvious that Pam had spoiled Rebecca.

    “I think it looks delicious,” Margaret said.

    “Sure does,” Clayton said, as he could feel his mouth watering already.

    Unfortunately his wife soon burst his bubble, “I’m sorry but you’re getting a carrot cake dear!”

    “Carrot cake?” Clayton frowned displeased, as Raoul came out of the house with a carrot cake and put it down in front of Clayton.

    “Oh don’t worry Clayton, that cake is delicious,” Pam said.

    “Yeah mommy eats those every year,” Rebecca informed them.

    “Oh I think I’ll have that too,” Afton said.

    “Do as you like, but I’m having chocolate cake,” Cliff said.

    “Me too,” Bobby said rubbing his hands together. “So son blow out those candles and start passing the cake around!”

    “Sure,” Christopher said and took a deep breath before he blew out all the candles. The others applauded.

    “Wow you got them all now you can make a wish!” Rebecca beamed.

    “Yeah what do you wish for Christopher?” Sue Ellen asked.

    “I don’t know I’ve already gotten my wish from last year!”

    “Which was?” Margaret asked.

    “Margaret don’t be so nosy,” Donna said.

    “Oh that’s alright,” Christopher said. “I wished that mama would come back.”

    Pam smiled and Bobby said, “Well that just proves that wishes can come true. But since she’s back you need to make a new wish son.”

    “I know what I would wish for,” John Ross said.

    Christopher smiled as he remembered what John Ross had told him about girls. “Yeah me too,” Christopher smiled before adding mentally. I wish for a girlfriend.

    “That’s good just make sure not to tell us your wish otherwise it won’t come true,” Lucy said.

    “Oh don’t worry I won’t tell you!” Christopher smiled. “But I sure wish I’ll have a great birthday party on Friday!”
     
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  3. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    The scene at Kurt's house was cute seen from Lucas' point of view :) (and scary from my own perspective :eck: )! :p

    Video games and unhealthy snacks ... ... a dream scenario for most boys at that age! :giggle: Thus, I will give Kurt credit for that! :yep: Other than that, the fact that he's recording their conversation gives me the creeps! :a2:

    Well-written dialogue once again, Karin! :jolly:

    I still find it difficult to believe how Jenna continues to let her son go next door without even having met the neighbors (or in this case a grown man who is using Lucas to get information about Martha)! :confused: How long has Lucas been going to Kurt's house? :think: Sorry, but I have a difficult time keeping track of the timeline in this fanfic! :embarrassed: Honestly, I hope that Jenna will wake up and smell the coffee soon ... ... after all, Lucas is only ... what ... 8? :fp:

    Okay, time to move onto my review of your second update in one day! :best:
     
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  4. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    Outstanding scene from the birthday dinner on Southfork's patio! :bowing Top score from me! :love6:

    Oh, this sentence did set the stage for the entire scene, IMO!: "JR and Cliff glared at each other over the table, as did Sue Ellen and Afton." :giggle:

    My favorite line from Sue Ellen: “And I can’t believe [Cliff] had the bad taste in bringing that slut!:yep: I would have thought that Sue Ellen had forgotten all about Afton's first visit to Southfork by now, but I guess not! :D It was interesting that Sue Ellen and JR were able to make pleasant conversation although the topic perhaps could have been more interesting! ;)

    It's sad that Pam apparently did a poor job of picking out Christopher's birthday gifts! :( It's understandable that she would have had a difficult time imagining her son being a teenager, but she's lived under the same roof as him for a couple of months now, hasn't she? :think: I would have thought that she had gotten to know Christopher more ... ... and what he's into and what he's not into! :fp: Didn't Bobby participate in the gift shopping? :confused:

    LOL ... I can't help falling in love with Rebecca! :kiss: Her lines are so funny! :) Like this one about Christopher's birthday cake: “It’s nothing special. I get one of those every year for my birthday parties!:giggle: I just hope that her comment didn't hurt her brother's feelings! ;)

    Oh, poor Clayton! :cry: Miss Ellie is mothering him a great deal! :( Now, I love carrot cake to death, but no one wants to stick out at a time like this! Why couldn't Clayton just have had a small piece of the birthday cake? :think:

    LOL ... once again, Rebecca steals centerstage with this comment about carrot cakes: “Yeah mommy eats those every year”! If you know how hard Pam works at keeping her figure fit and healthy, it's sort of funny! :D

    Sweet dialogue about Christopher making his wish after blowing out the candles on the cake! :dance:I'm happy that his wish from the previous years came true! :love4:And I really like his new wish too! :love7: (I just hope that he won't follow in John Ross' footsteps when it comes to girls!) :cool1
    I'm so excited to read more about this storyline! :jolly: Please update soon! :best:
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2018
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  5. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Thank you for the feedback Ms Southworth. :)

    I agree with you about the Kurt scene. It's Lucas dream scenario. But yeah Kurt is just using "his little friend" as a source for information. :(
    Yeah Lucas is 8 years old and I guess he's been spending time with Kurt for about a month by now.

    I'm glad you enjoyed Christopher's birthday dinner. :)

    Yeah Pam's been back for two months now. Still she has a lot of time to make up for when it comes to her son so I thought her buying the wrong gifts is a sign of that she has missed a lot of time with him and still thinks of him as younger than he really is. I suppose Bobby had a lot to do at the office and Pam loves shopping so she probably volenteered to do all the shopping.

    I'm glad you love Rebecca. :)

    I think the reason Clayton wasn't allowed to have any chocolate cake at all is because of Doctor Haynes who told Clayton that he could work out when he shouldn't work out. So after that incident Miss Ellie is being extra protective of her husband since she wants to make sure that he stays healthy and alive for many more years.

    Okay so here's tonight's update:


    At Wade’s rented house, Jenna was sitting by the computer writing an e-mail when Lucas came back from the Anderson’s. “Hey mommy, what are you doing?”

    “I’m sending an e-mail to your cousin Christopher. It’s his birthday today,” Jenna replied.

    “Oh I’ll see,” Lucas said before he frowned, “Mommy can I ask you something?”

    “Sure sweetie, what is it?”

    “If Uncle Bobby is Christopher’s daddy and if he is also my daddy, why do you say Christopher’s my cousin?” Lucas asked. “I mean shouldn’t that make him my brother?”

    Jenna sighed, “Technically yes, but it’s complicated sweetheart.”

    “Doesn’t have to be, either he’s my brother or he’s not!” Lucas insisted.

    “Lucas, can you do mommy a big favor?”

    “It depends, what is it?”

    “I want you to forget everything I’ve told you about your uncle Bobby this summer.”

    “Why?”

    “Because you’d get that electric car you’ve wanted if you do,” Jenna bribed him.

    Lucas hesitated for a moment as a part of him knew that what his mother asked him to do was wrong. But then the longing to have that new car to play with got the better out of him and he said, “Oh okay, can we go shop it tomorrow?”

    “I’m not sure I have time tomorrow, but definitely this week, how does that sound?”

    “Great,” Lucas smiled, however as Jenna turned her attention back to the computer his smile faded, as this conversation had just made him even more confused.
     
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  6. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    :yw:

    Yeah, perhaps! :)

    It would make sense for Pam to have bought birthday presents for Christopher every year even though she wasn't with him! :think: (Many parents who for one reason or another can't be with their children still get them something even though they're not together!) And right now the presents of many years are tucked away in a room at her house in B.H.! ;)

    I know that Miss Ellie is just looking out for Clayton's well-being! :mall: I just think that there needs to be a difference between daily life and a birthday party! :h1:
     
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  7. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    Great update about Jenna's talk with her son! :) (... ... although I'm bewildered as to why Jenna would greet Christopher on his birthday! :confuse: If Jenna has spent all that time in Europe, then how does she know Christopher ... not to mention his e-mail address! o_O )

    Lucas is entitled to ask the questions he did! :gotcha: And Jenna was wrong to bribe him the way she did! :( (Honestly, I'm going to puke, if Jenna still carries a torch for Bobby! It's just wrong in so many ways ... :bang: ... )!

    I'm so much looking forward to the moment when Jenna can no longer sweep the truth under the rug! And it'll be interesting to see her reaction to not only Pam being at Southfork, but also the fact that Lucas has both a bonus brother and a bonus sister! (I'm not a fan of the term, half-brother or half-sister!) I hope that Lucas eventually can find peace in his mind with his heritage, and that the fact that he has Bobby's genes doesn't really make him Lucas' father. Ray is by all means Lucas' daddy, because he was the one to love and raise him, tuck him in at night and put a band-aid on his knee whenever he hurt himself!!! :kiss: (And it would literally kill Ray, if he "lost" his son, I think! :( )

    Please update soon! :bowing :best:
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2018
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  8. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Thank you for the feedback Ms Southworth. :)

    Good idea about Pam buying gifts but not sending them. I've heard of some absent parents who has done that when they can't be with their children.

    I'm guessing Jenna got Christopher's e-mail because they are related. I mean she's his aunt by marriage.

    I agree that Jenna really shouldn't have bribed Lucas into silence with that car.

    Over here we don't use the word "Bonus sister" for half-sister. It's used for step-siblings that you get as a bonus when your parents gets married to someone new. Everyone in that family becomes "a bonus" for the child. I think when it comes to half-sisters or half-brothers most people just say "syster" or "bror". The half is sometimes used in conversation if one is to explain you don't have the same father or mother but rarely else.

    Anyway here's an update:


    Tuesday afternoon at the Jones house, Mitch and Lucy were sitting with Trevor and Lynette on their patio talking. Out on the grass were the kids running around playing. Lynette asked, “So then you’ll be starting next week?”

    “Yeah, finally,” Mitch smiled.

    “I can imagine that cast is good to be rid off ,” Lynette said.

    “Yeah tell me about it,” Mitch said.

    “So which shift did they put you on?” Trevor asked.

    “Dayshift,” Mitch replied.

    “Great man, then we’ll get to work together. I have dayshift too next week,” Trevor smiled.

    “That’s great,” Mitch smiled back.

    “So which hours is it you work now again?” Lucy asked.

    “Dayshift is 9 in the morning to 6 at night,” Trevor informed her.

    “And nightshift is from nine at night until 6 the next morning,” Lynette filled in.

    “Ouch that’s long,” Lucy frowned, looking at Mitch who gave her hand a reassuring squeeze that all would be fine.

    “Yeah well it’s not as long as when Trevor started at the ER. Then they had 24 hour shifts!” Lynette explained.

    Lucy made a face, “Really?”

    Trevor nodded, “Really.”

    “Oh my god that is long!” Lucy said.

    “Well if nothing happened you could crash for a minute,” Trevor said.

    “But that doesn’t sound likely,” Mitch said.

    Lynette looked at the children playing on the backyard before she said, “We’re so lucky you got to change schedule after Billy was born though.”

    “Yeah I know,” Trevor nodded.

    They exchanged a smile as the kids came running up to them and Billy called out, “Mommy, daddy, Lucy, Mitch come on let’s play tag!”

    The grownups laughed as Kathleen ran over to Lucy hitting her on the leg saying, “Tag, you’re it!”

    Lucy smiled before getting up. “Oh you just wait. I’m gonna get you!” Lucy hurried off after the kids and the others were happily joining in on the game.
     
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  9. Mrs Bobby James Ewing

    Mrs Bobby James Ewing Soap Chat Fan

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    Great updates Karin! :)I am glad Christopher had a great time at his birthday dinner dispite Barnes and Ewing families glaring at each other and arguing over dinner.:):( The Barnes and Ewing families should have put their differences aside one day.:) I felt bad for poor Clayton at Christopher's birthday party not being allowed to have a slice of chocolate cake.:( I love Miss Ellie but that was too much denying Clayton a slice of Christopher's cake. :):( I feel bad for Lucas as well in your story. :(Jenna was awful bribing Lucas with promising to buy him a toy car just to get to be quiet about asking about Bobby his biological father.:( I hope Jenna isn't still in love with Bobby after all these years but I can't blame her if she is because she does have his child.:(:) I hope Lucy and Mitch are going ok after Mitch returns to work since Lucy complained to Miss Ellie about his devotion to his work when she came home to Southfork at end of season 11 of original Dallas. :):(
     
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  10. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    Some people use the terms step-brother or half-sister, but like I stated, I personally don't like them much! I find them to be somewhat condescending! Stepsister or stepbrother is better, but still not great! I guess that it all comes down to what you're comfortable with, and whether or not you have a personal relationship with your stepsiblings or not!
     
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  11. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    Cute family family time involving Lucy and Mitch! :spinning: I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that a new born baby girl or boy will soon join the Ewing family (or should I say Cooper)! :love6:

    Not too bad with 9 hour shifts for Mitch, IMO! :) At least, he'll be able to make it home for dinner (which Lucy won't be cooking herself, at least while they stay at Southfork)! ;) (I know this lady who works in oncology, and her shifts are sometimes 72 hours on the weekends! :eck: ) Thus, count your blessings, Mitch! (and perhaps Lucy also!). :D

    I liked that all the adults played with the children! :yep:

    Please update soon! :best:
     
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  12. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Thank you so much for the feedback on my story everyone. It's much appreciated as always. :)

    Sanda, I agree that the Barnes-Ewing feud should have been over a long time ago. But it's not. I mean the show did start it up again towards the very end when Cliff Barnes somehow ended up with Ewing Oil...

    Good observation about Mitch the workaholic. You are right to assume that when he goes back to work the honeymoon is over for him and Lucy.

    Ms Southworth, I don't know about soon, but I think Lucy & Mitch definitely wants kids so... ;)
    72 hour shift is just crazy. It should be forbidden really! :eck:
    I mean when someone works that long in a row they are bound to get tired and when you are tired you make mistakes. So definitely not good when it comes to someone who works at a hospital.

    Okay so here's tonight's update:


    At Ewing Oil were JR and Bobby sitting in JR’s office talking business. “So I spoke to Mr. Horner at the Cattleman’s Bank and we have now paid off the debt on Guzzler’s company,” Bobby informed JR.

    “Well good,” JR said. “I’m working on the insurance company to see if we can get our money back.”

    “I hope so since Guzzler ripped me off real good,” Bobby sighed.

    “I know with friends like him, who needs enemies?”

    “So how many fields did we have to sell?”

    “Well all in all…” JR took a look at his papers on the desk. “Five fields and we still got that worthless field that came with the Guzzler deal.”

    “We haven’t sold that yet?” Bobby asked.

    “Nope, it’s hard finding a buyer who’s dumb enough to buy that shit,” JR sighed.

    “I’m sorry,” Bobby said. “Anyway now that we’ve settled our debt, the bank is gonna review our request again.”

    “Good I hope they approve it, ‘cause we really need that loan to buy that refinery in Houston.”

    “Remind me again why we need a new refinery?”

    “We need it because the two companies you acquired in Houston give us more crude to refine than our refineries can handle,” JR said before adding with a sigh, “Besides that Stone brat just terminated our deal with Cutlers.”

    “What?”

    Love Oil bought up Cutlers and they won’t renew our contract at the end of the month.”

    “I see,” Bobby said displeased, “so why don’t we refine with someone else then?”

    “I’ve tried that but all the Texas refineries are full and if we have to transport our crude out of state we will lose profit.”

    “How can all the refineries be full?”

    “Because Weststar made a new deal with OPEC and are importing oil like crazy!”

    “Typically McKay,” Bobby muttered.

    “Yeah so we really need that refinery!”
     
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  13. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    All these scenes with children in them does make me want to fill up Southfork with more children (or rather baby) noices from the Ewing/Krebbs family! :jolly: Thus, the more scenes with children you add to this fanfic, the more my desire for Ewing family planning (i.e. baby production) will go up! :giggle:

    I was shocked too! :eek: Supposedly, the doctors do get to sleep, when it's down-time, so I guess that it's not too draining to have shifts that long! :) But still, you have to be ready to "go" instantly, once the "bell" goes off! So I guess that they sleep in their work clothes!
     
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  14. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    Great scene from JR's office in the Ewing building! :jolly: It was real easy to imagine Larry and Patrick acting out the dialogue! :loveit:

    I love the mentioning of all the various characters/places that was a huge part of the television show: :spinning:
    • Mr. Horner :hat:
    • Cattleman's Bank :ty:
    • Guzzler :D
    • Stone (as in relatives of Marilee) :innocent:
    • Weststar (Oil) :box:

    I also liked the part about why they needed to buy a new refinery! :wink@

    Please update again real soon! :best:
     
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  15. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Thanks for the feedback Ms Southworth. :)

    Still even if the doctors could sleep on the job, 72 hour shifts are just crazy. It can't be easy to sleep when you know you could be woken up to work at any minute.

    Glad you enjoyed the business scene from Ewing Oil so much. Yeah I guess we got a lot of original Dallas references into that scene without really thinking about it. Oh and Bruce Stone is Marilee's son. :)

    Okay so here's tonight's update:

    The next day in Philadelphia. Mario and Afton stepped out of a limousine that had stopped in front of Mario’s family home. Afton looked up at the huge grey colored brick mansion with some tins and towers and red tiles on the roof. The mansion, which had some ornament figures, almost reminded her of a European castle. “Wow Mario, it’s beautiful,” Afton said enthusiastically.

    “Glad you like it,” Mario said.

    The door opened and a butler came out to carry in their luggage. “Good day the honorable Marius Badeau, welcome home,” he greeted them, “Baron and Baroness Badeau are awaiting you and company in the Parlour.”

    “Thank you Gilford,” Mario smiled. “After you,” Mario made a gesture for Afton to enter the mansion.

    Afton stepped into the hallway and had to catch her breath when she saw the Chrystal chandeliers hanging from the painted ceiling. The lamps on the walls were in gold and the floor was in black and white marble. Afton’s eyes lit up as she took in her luxury surroundings. “Wow it’s beautiful.”

    “I know,” Mario smiled satisfied. “This way,” Mario said and led her into a reception room to the right where a couple in their late 60s was awaiting them. The man was dressed in a blue suit and the woman in a matching suit jacket and skirt. She wore a diamond necklace and matching earrings. “Mother, father, lovely to see you,” Mario walked up to his parents and greeted them with one kiss on each cheek.

    “Marius, lovely to see you,” Baroness Badeau said. “Mother, father may I introduce my fiancée Mrs. Van Buren III.”

    Afton flinched as the Baron reached forward a hand and said, “Enchanted my dear, I’m Baron Badeau, my wife the Baroness.”

    Afton shook hands with the Baron and then Baroness and said, “Nice to meet you, my name is Afton.”

    The Baroness wrinkled her nose and looked at Afton like she was something the cat had dragged in. “And I suppose it’s not a short for anything?”

    “Nope, I’m named Afton.”

    Mario hawked and the Baron said, “And do you have a second name?”

    “Yes Lynn,” Afton replied and the Badeaus sighed as Afton went on. “And my last name is actually Cooper.”

    “She means it’s her maiden name,” Mario hurried to explain.

    “I see, well…” The Baroness made a little face, “So what shall I call you?”

    “Afton’s fine.”

    “Alright then, Afton Lynn Cooper Van Buren, where…”

    “Oh Van Buren’s my ex-husband’s name, so I don’t use that anymore,” Afton interrupted the Baroness.

    The Baroness looked disapproving on her and said, “I see. I was under the impression that you were widowed.”

    “No Harrison and I are divorced,” Afton said.

    “And you’ve got sole custody of the child?” Baron Badeau asked.

    “Well of course since Pamela Rebecca is my daughter,” Afton said. “Harrison has no interest in her.”

    The Baroness raised an eyebrow before she asked, “Aha and the child’s father?”

    “Oh his name is Cliff and he…” Afton started saying before Mario interrupted her.

    “Mother, father, lunch is getting cold, right?”

    “Right, let’s continue this conversation over dinner,” the Baron said.

    “Yes I’m very interested to hear all about your background,” the Baroness said and Mario sighed, as he realized that his parents were never going to approve of his new fiancé.
     
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  16. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    Great scene from the Philadelphia mansion! :dance:

    I enjoyed (and also got a good chuckle out of) the detailed descriptions of the home and the lifestyle of the Baron and Baroness! :jolly::giggle:

    The butler was hilarious: “Good day the honorable Marius Badeau, welcome home. Baron and Baroness Badeau are awaiting you and company in the Parlour.:rlol: Even his name (Gilford) was laughable! :Clol: Great job, Karin! :)

    I hope that Afton snaps out of it soon! Being rich and famous isn't all that it's cracked up to be! :fp:

    The way Mario greeted his parents was funny: “Mother, father, lovely to see you”. :lmao: And the way he introduced Afton was even better: “Mother, father may I introduce my fiancée Mrs. Van Buren III.:bah:

    The way Mario's parents disapproved of Afton was just heartbreaking! :( Her name was "wrong", she had been married before, and had a child already! :( When will you wake up, Afton? :brick:

    Overall, you did a great job with this scene (although I feel so bad for Afton ... ... I wonder how long will it be before she wakes up?)

    Please update soon! :best:
     
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  17. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Thank you for the feedback Ms Southworth.
    I'm glad that you found the scene where Afton met Mario's parents funny. It's written for laughs really! :giggle:

    Okay so here's tonight's update:

    At Dallas Memorial Hospital, Clayton and Miss Ellie were at Clayton’s medical checkup with his cardiologist Doctor LeClaire. They were sitting in his office to discuss his test results. The doctor looked up from his clipboard and said, “Well it’s a good thing you stopped exercising, a few more weeks at that rate would surely have lead to another heart-attack!”

    Clayton made a face and Miss Ellie lectured him, “I told you it wasn’t good for you.” Miss Ellie then turned to the doctor and said, “Any permanent damage from this?”

    The doctor shook his head, “Nothing that a healthy diet and everyday exercise won’t fix,” Doctor LeClaire said. “You have to realize Mr. Farlow that you’re a senior citizen. There’s a reason why men your age don’t work anymore.”

    “What are you saying?” Clayton asked. “I can’t work the ranch anymore?”

    “I’m sorry but no, that hard work is too straining on your heart,” Doctor LeClaire explained. “You can still take a ride but not spend a whole day in the saddle moving cattle.”

    “I see,” Clayton said disappointed.

    “So is there anything special we have to think about?”

    “No more than we talked about, if you eat healthy, take your medication and exercise right, you can still live many more years,” The Doctor said.

    “That’s good to hear,” Miss Ellie smiled grateful at the doctor. However Clayton didn’t look as pleased with the news.
     
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  18. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    Happy to hear that Clayton is doing well! :)

    I feel sorry for Clayton that he won't be able to spend long days in the sadel with Ray (or Bobby or his grandchildren) anymore! :( Especially since he loves riding so much! :(

    Great dialogue overall! :dance: I am a bit puzzled about how much exercise Clayton is allowed to do though: At first, the doctor says "it's a good thing you stopped exercising". And later on, the doctor says "... eat healthy, take your medication and exercise right ..."! :confuse: ... ... :giggle: Anyway, I think that I know what he meant to say! :lolo:

    I'll be looking forward to the next update! :best:
     
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  19. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Thank you for the feedback Ms Southworth. :)
    Then as for Clayton's exercise, what the doctor meant was that Clayton shouldn't be lifting weights and working out at the gym for hours on end. But it's good for him with healthy exercise like taking a ride or a walk.

    Although to be honest I am not sure if that reasoning still holds today, as I've read in the paper about people in their 80s who still goes to the gym...

    Anyway here's the next update:

    Jenna was sitting by the computer checking her e-mail when Charlie walked into the room. Noticing the concerned look on her mother’s face, Charlie asked, “Hi mom, what’s the matter?”

    “Nothing, it’s just that I got an e-mail from Christopher and guess what he had to say?”

    “No what?”

    “Ray is back in town,” Jenna sighed.

    “Great then you can talk to him,” Charlie smiled.

    “Yeah,” Jenna bit her lip. “I just have to figure out what to say!”

    “Well you could start by telling him that Randy’s my boyfriend!”

    Jenna rubbed her forehead, “Charlie, can we please hold off with that for a while?”

    “No mom, it’s important to me and it’s better than he hears it from you than finding out anyway!”

    “What do you mean?”

    “Well now when he’s back in town, we might bump into each other so…”

    “You’re right, I will tell him,” Jenna sighed.

    “Good, so when will that be?”

    “Oh I don’t know…when I’ve figured out what to say!” Jenna replied and Charlie sighed, as her mom kept dodging the problem.
     
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  20. Ms Southworth

    Ms Southworth Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    Yeahhh, the showdown between Ray and Jenna is not too far off! :spinning:

    I think that there's even potential for quite a few more showdowns ... ... like between (1) Jenna on one side and (2) Bobby, Pam, or Donna on the other side! :pray: And perhaps also showdowns between Ray and Charlie ... ... and Lucas and Christopher/Rebecca? :think:

    Let's get moving, Karin! :clap: Please update soon! :best:
     
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