Footballers Wives

Discussion in 'TV Central' started by Alexis, Nov 12, 2016.

  1. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    I just bought the entire series including Extra Time from ebay. I got it for a good price at £35 with free shipping so it would have been rude not to. Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! I'm looking forward to revisiting this shamefully guilty pleasure some time in the near future.
    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Kevmac

    Kevmac Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    I never watched this show. :oops: It was very popular though, wasn't it....?
     
  3. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    Yea it was very popular back in the day. It was very OTT. Like in a very campy Dynasty/Dallas way...

    It arrived this evening and I am so tempted to watch it tonight but I still have Star Trek TNG to get through and have already put Dark Shadows on hold which I didn't really set out to do. I must be patient! lol
     
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  4. Kevmac

    Kevmac Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    Well, remember.... patience is a virtue :rolleyes:o_O

    ......:D
     
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  5. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    Well.... I had a few days without any internet and so I got around to watching a lot of stuff I had put off. I finished HOTEL, watched some more Noel Coward plays and then I remembered Footballers Wives. I dove straight in on a rainy day off work. I watched the full series one in one day.
    It was sublime! Equally terrible and brilliant all at the same time. Deliriously camp and ostentatious while managing to be trashily cheap and tawdry. It's a marvel to behold.
    There was so much from all the three seasons I have seen so far that I had long forgotten. Some characters that are amongst the most boring and mind numbingly awful ever created. Donna and her horrible husband from series one had totally escaped my mind. I hated her, wanted to smash my head into the TV screen every time she showed up. She wasn't a bitch or horrible person, just the actress was so bland. It was like staring at a piece of brown corrugated cardboard. No, a soggy wet piece of corrugated cardboard. Urrrggggghhhhh. And what a stretch that the young Italian signing would fall head over heels for her. A dull as dishwater housewife. Sorry had to rant about Donna.

    Then we have Jason Turner. I had also totally forgotten about him. Tanya's bastard of a husband. A stupid, masochistic, lug headed, macho, sexist, womanising, lying, cheating, arrogant, thick, idiot, bastard of a man. My hatred of him is only matched by that of my hate of Frankie Colby and Joffrey Lannister from Game Of Thrones. Evil personified. I wanted him to die every episode. Until the climax of his demise when on his renewal of vows ceremony with Tanya he's called out for all that he is by none other than Tanya herself. Called out for shagging countless women, including his best mate's mum with whom he fathered an intersex baby. All hell breaks loose and Jason punches Tanya in the face. Yes... Really. TV Gold! He's later killed, pushed to his death by Chardonnay of the burning boobs fame.

    Tanya is dynamite and Zoe Lucker plays her so joyously. She's a scheaming, cheating, coke addled, greedy, vulnerable bitch. But she's a survivor! And you just ant her to succeed and to win. Zoe's eyes should have their own agent, what she can do with them individually whist in a rage is awe inspiring. They should have got a BAFTA, each!

    I'm not quite done with series three yet, we have only just be reacquainted with Amber, Tanya's true nemesis from the show, along with Amber's swinging husband Conrad. They are modelled after Posh and Becks. Tanya's shagging Conrad, Amber is faking her kidnapping by Triads.

    I have went down a rabbit hole of velour tracksuits, lipsy dresses, neon fake tans, hair extensions, acrylic nails, kitten heels, diamante crosses, horrible sunglasses, white suits, satin shirts, blonde tips, lezzers, poofs, coke whores, boob jobs, blow jobs, psycho nurses, faked pregnancies, coma rape, whack jobs and nut cases.

    It makes Sea View Circle seem like the dullest place on earth.

    Sorry not Sorry.
     
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  6. Willie Oleson

    Willie Oleson drilling for soap

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    The problem being….?



    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
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  7. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    He's horrible!!!!!!
     
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  8. Willie Oleson

    Willie Oleson drilling for soap

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    How's Extra Time? Have you already seen it on TV?
     
  9. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    I think I caught one episode or maybe more but it wasn't as good. I'll give it a go once I finish the original series.
    I'm amazed at how much they have stolen from Dynasty. They used a Tanya doppelganger in plot where she had to do community service at a nursing home for being arrested with cocaine. She got a woman Jason had been shagging to dress up as her and go do the time at the nursing home. So Tanya could be free to take more coke and shag all round her. They did a version of Fallon saving LB from drowning in the pool, from season 4? This time Gary Lucy as Kyle turns his back on his intersex baby son/brother Paddy and he ends up almost drowning in the pool. This time saved by his physio. Then there was a mash up of Alexis shagging Cecil to death and Rita watching Blake fall down the stairs. This time Tanya boozes up fat lecherous husband Frank, who has a heart condition and plies him with coke. She then proceeds to give him the ride of his life, until he's huffing and puffing and asking for his heart pills. Then she just stares right at him until he dies. Those eyes acting the shit out the scene. Then she sparks up a fag and calls 999.
    Wonderful.
    You also have those Dynasty style baffling character transformations. Where a character goes from being one thing one minute to something completely different the next.
    Kyle, mentioned above, goes from being the dreamy good boy in the first two seasons to a mother beating, serial gambling grade A asshole in season 3.
     
  10. Willie Oleson

    Willie Oleson drilling for soap

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    Wasn't there a video will with a nasty surprise for Tanya?

    I also remember the mystery rapist...and of course Eva De Wolf and her harem of totally F'd up football boys.
    Oh and I think crazy nurse Janet was in Extra Time too? Should be fun.

    Do you have the 16 discs or 17 discs version?
    I don't think this one has Extra Time?
    upload_2018-8-16_2-51-11.png
     
  11. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    [​IMG]
    I have this version.
    I'm nearing the end of series 4 now and it's starting to get a bit terrible. I mean it's always been appalling trash but now it's boring trash. Series 3 introduced us to Conrad and Amber but series 4 seems to have them as the centre of the show. There was all that great stuff with Amber and Tanya fighting and it was fun then both of them pregnant at the same time. The first half of series 4 seems quite good, we have Tanya's evil plan of swopping her and Amber's babies. The infamous fake tanning Tanya's real baby with Frank to make it look like Amber's baby with Conran. Then we have Amber's pet dog sit on the baby and smother it. To death! Yes! Really!
    Then all of this becomes exposed as Amber learns that Tanya switched the babies after she gets Conrad to do a sneaky DNA test. Then he and Amber run Tanya out of town after making her sign over her shares in Earls Park to Amber. Tanya then exits in a helicopter the last we see of her is her on a beach somewhere with a fat old grey haired millionaire...

    Then it all gets really, really boring and stupid even by Footballers Wives standards. Webbsy the teams manager just becomes increasingly loud and annoying and ranty and it's so annoying. He's going down that route of becoming unlikable to the point of no redemption so I assume he's being killed off or written out soon. He started out kind of likable too. The show is also repeating itself. It's got Webbsy's son now flirting with Jackie, Kyle's mum. Jackie already had an affair with Jason Turner who was Kyle's team mate. This story is also a rehash of sorts of the plot from series 1 where dull as dishwater Donna had an affair with the new Italian signing. Kyle by the way is in New Zealand where he's not gambling anymore and has paid off all his debts apparently.

    The gay footballer Alexander, from series 3 is played by possibly the most repulsively terrible actor known to mankind. Every time he comes on screen my genitalia wither and die and my heart vomits. Why couldn't Bruno be the gay one?
    Speaking of Bruno, he's the only eye candy this series and he plays an abusive husband. Though if I was married to the insufferable Lucy who dresses like a demented 15 year old with a passion for fedoras and rara skirts then I would be tempted to knock her about too. She's horrible. Like someone thought that Donna from series 1 was a brilliant idea but would be better if they tarted her up a bit in ridiculous clothes and called her Lucy.
    I refuse to believe ANYONE ever dressed like her, EVER, even in 2004!
    [​IMG]

    But yea... The wheels seem to have fallen off in the second half of series 4, I mean who's idea was it to get rid of Tanya? She's the glue that holds it all together and makes it work. Hazel seems lost without her, relegated to having silly out to lunch scenes with Amber and Jackie and Lucy! As if!!!

    The daftest and shittest storyline so far is Harley and Shannon adopting a granny to make them look good on their reality show. Shit on a stick.


    I have appreciated Conrad having his wonky teeth fixed, though he still walks like he has a broom up his ass.

    Roll on Joan Collins is all I say!
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2018
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  12. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    Oh yes, Tanya announces that she is pregnant, thinking that Conrad is the father. Then a lawyer shows up at her house with a video tape, in which her dead husband Frank informs her that he stuck a pin in all their condoms so she's carrying his child.
     
  13. Willie Oleson

    Willie Oleson drilling for soap

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    I think I'm going to do this after I've finished season 2 of "Sisters".

    Maybe posting a few screen shots (is nudity allowed on soapchat?)
     
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  14. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    Jeanette the nurse makes an appearance in series 4, hired as a midwife by Tanya so she can help her switch Ambers baby. Amber goes into labour and has a natural birth, while Tanya has a surgeon on standby to give her a C Section so the babies can be born at the same time. It intercuts between Amber's natural water birth, screaming and all and Tanya filing her nails looking bored while she undergoes a C Section. Brilliant!
     
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  15. Willie Oleson

    Willie Oleson drilling for soap

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    Whatever happened to Jason and Jackie's baby?
     
  16. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    Jackie is raising Paddy as her grandchild while Kyle is in New Zealand.
    She and Kyle and Chardonnay agreed to stick to the story that the baby was Kyle and Chardonnay's.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2018
  17. ChrisSumner

    ChrisSumner Soap Chat Member

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    Glad to find this thread! A few months ago I did a rewatch but got stuck on season four which is just incredibly boring. I need to go back and finish though. I remember loving the final season, although Joan Collins character and story was stupid. It’s sad it ended once it got its mojo back and did a successful reboot.
     
  18. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    I am finding it almost impossible to finish the last season. It's awful, and season 4 was too. It really fell apart so quickly. The Joan Collins plot line is terrible, not even so bad it's good. More so bad it's boring. Even she cant save it.

    The biggest mistake made was getting rid of Tanya for vast swathes of the series run. She was the show. It's like removing Alexis from Dynasty for huge chunks of the majority of the series. Actually it's worse, Dynasty could likely have got away with that for a while as most of the cast were entertaining/talented enough. On Footballers Wives, it's really not the case. So many utterly terrible actors.
     

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