Kraft and its evil European incarnation, Mondelēz

Discussion in 'Rant Room' started by Michael Torrance, Dec 8, 2018.

  1. Michael Torrance

    Michael Torrance Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    Many years ago, in a chocolate fairy land called Europe, there lived some beautiful chocolate princesses: Milka, Cadbury, Cotedore, Côte d'Or, and some equally beautiful cousins of them (such as Lacta in Greece). But then an evil Dollar sorcerer named Kraft gave each a ring called "buy out" and put each under its spell, and then created one ring to rule them all, Mondelēz.

    It's actually funny to me that Kraft realized that nobody would want to buy these brands with the Kraft logo on them so they spun them off in a new (Chicago-based) subsidiary and gave them the made-up word which sounds European but is actually belonging to no language. Since the acquisition, the quality of each brand has suffered to varying degrees, including the awful new packaging which Kraft enforced on all (and even competitors switched to because it is cheaper).

    Additionally for those living across the pond, whereas before many of these brands could be imported in the US, now that they belong to a US company, Kraft, another US company, Hershey's, managed to get them excluded from the US market on grounds of US competition laws--because Hershey's has the rights to making their versions of many of them here. So we can choose between the somewhat-worse-than-before European version of these chocolates or the Hershey's-version of them. For those Europeans who have never tasted a Hershey's bar, I can tell you I am almost sure Hershey's is an old Native American word for "perverting cocoa."
     
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  2. Ome

    Ome Admin

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    One of the things I did when I first visited the States was to buy and try a Hershey bar. I'd seen so much of it in the movies and American TV shows that I had to have some.

    I didn't like it, but I can't say why because it was back in the 90s. I now feel that I need to try again on my next visit and report back here what it was that I didn't like.
     
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  3. Michael Torrance

    Michael Torrance Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    There is only one instance where I find the US version of a candy product superior to the European original, and that is the KitKat bar, which is a Nestlé product made by Hersey's in the US.
     
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  4. Matthew Blaisdel

    Matthew Blaisdel Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    Another stupid thing about the sweets industry is that they want to make their products seem "healthier". :re:
    To achieve that, they change the recepies and change almost all of the ingreediences that made them taste so delicious before.
    As a kid, i LOVED "Smarties". Those little chocolate balls surrounded by aroma flavoured sugar coating, little bit like M&Ms, but Smarties tasted waaaaaaaaaay better, at least in the 80s and 90s.
    [​IMG]
    Now it's completly changed, they proclaim to not use artificial aroma anymore, way less sugar and chocolate with lowered fat and so on.
    There's nothing, absolutly NOTHING left of that great taste it once had.
    I was so disappointed when i tried them out after that change and the industry clearly achieved their goal to make my life healthier... because i'm just not buying them anymore AT ALL! :mad:
    Hello, stupid industry, I don't want "HEALTHY" sweets with 40% less calories, i want sweets that just taste GREAT! [​IMG]
    Everybody knows sweets are not healthy, and they even should not be, because it's supposed to be something special that you enjoy at special occasions!
    I barely buy sweets anymore these days, because with all that added palm fat as cheap replacement for butter and more cheap milk powder instead of good cocoa ... it all tastes like crap theese days. Very hard to find something that i still enjoy as much as i did in the good old days. :oops:
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2018
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  5. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    Oh Preach! You will find many a ranty thread on this forum about the exact same thing, started by me. Kraft ruined Cadburys. It now has that weird fake aftertaste to it. Almost like Hesheys which I am sure is just coloured and sweetened candle wax. It's not chocolate. Its some chemical compound of evil. I would feel sorry for the Americans that have to eat it if it wasn't an American company that is ruining European chocolate deliciousness.

    @Barbara Belle of The Ball feel free to back me up on this.
     
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  6. Willie Oleson

    Willie Oleson drilling for soap

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    I remember how to eat them: put one end of the tube in your mouth, move the other end upwards and then fill your mouth with as many smarties as possible.
     
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  7. Michael Torrance

    Michael Torrance Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    Amazingly, even though I love chocolate, and I was aware of them from TV commercials even as a kid, I have never in my life had smarties. The first covered chocolate I tried was M&B when I came to the US.
    By the way, unlike the evil chocolate @The holiday Whore mentions , Hershey's chocolate syrup is amazing.
     
  8. Willie Oleson

    Willie Oleson drilling for soap

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    It's essential for brain development, that's why they call it smarties.

    I also had to eat treets
    [​IMG]
    for character development.
     
  9. Snarky's Ghost

    Snarky's Ghost Soap Chat Oracle

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    Oh, absolutely.
    Only their syrup makes me nauseous; I'm not sure why.
     
  10. Michael Torrance

    Michael Torrance Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    Because of Corn Syrup maybe?
     
  11. Snarky's Ghost

    Snarky's Ghost Soap Chat Oracle

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    Probably, but lots of stuff has that and doesn't make me sick (although I try to avoid it for health reasons).
     
  12. Michael Torrance

    Michael Torrance Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    Maybe another one of its magical ingredients:

    High Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Syrup, Water, Cocoa, Sugar, Contains 2% or Less of: Potassium Sorbate (Preservative), Salt, Mono- and Diglycerides, Xanthan Gum, Polysorbate 60, Vanillin (Artificial Flavor).
     
  13. Snarky's Ghost

    Snarky's Ghost Soap Chat Oracle

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    I had some today poured over egg nog ice cream. I'm not sick yet.
     
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  14. Alexis

    Alexis Soap Chat Superstar

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    SATANIC.
     
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  15. Richard Channing

    Richard Channing Soap Chat Dream Maker

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    How about now?
     
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  16. Snarky's Ghost

    Snarky's Ghost Soap Chat Oracle

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    No, not yet.

    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Snarky's Ghost

    Snarky's Ghost Soap Chat Oracle

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    Curiously, a few days later I was puking my guts out. But I think it was the flu.
     

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