Most hilarious lines on Dallas.

Discussion in 'Dallas - The Original Series' started by kenneth, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. kenneth

    kenneth Soap Chat Member

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    That was meant to be serious.

    I will forever shake my head in amusement when Miss Ellie says,

    "Why do men have to be so stubborn?"

    Coming from her of all people that is funny as hell.
     
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  2. Kenny Coyote

    Kenny Coyote Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    "I can't lose another son." Anytime one of her adult sons moves out she treats it like a funeral!
     
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  3. Lastkidpicked to be Santa's Helper

    Lastkidpicked to be Santa's Helper Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    My favorite of all time is on the lead-up to the "who shot J.R." storyline.

    Vaughn Leland is even slimier than usual. J.R. knows that if Vaughn gets in on the Asian oil field deal, then Vaughn will lose his money.

    Vaughn: I've decided to invest a large amount of my personal money in this deal, J.R.
    J.R: Vaughn, I can't think of anybody else I'd rather have come in on this deal.

    BHAHAHAHA! That magnificent bastard!
     
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  4. Santa Swami

    Santa Swami Soap Chat Supreme

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    Fenton Washburn: "What do you take in your coffee?"
    JR Ewing: "Bourbon"

    Swami
     
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  5. Victoriafan3

    Victoriafan3 Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    “Oh hunny. It was all a bad dream. None of that ever happened”
     
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  6. Billy Wall

    Billy Wall Soap Chat Active Member

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    Lucy to Ray when JR was messing with his country singer girlfriend: “JR’s gonna kill you.”

    As we later found out, JR couldn’t fight his way out of a cotton factory. Lol
     
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  7. Walking in a Winter Guzzlerland

    Walking in a Winter Guzzlerland Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    of course, for all his lack of physicality, JR did in fact prevail over grizzled manly cowboy Ray via a bop of the head with a phone as Southfork started to burn!
     
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  8. Kenny Coyote

    Kenny Coyote Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    This never happened, but the look on JR's face would have been priceless:

    (After Clayton and Miss Ellie marry)

    Clayton says to JR: "Now that your mama and I have married, I'd appreciate it if you would call me "father."
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2019
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  9. Santa Swami

    Santa Swami Soap Chat Supreme

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    JR about Ray: "Well Ray was never comfortable eating with the family. After all we do use knives and forks!"

    Swami
     
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  10. stevew

    stevew Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    Most everything was pretty funny out of JR’s mouth, even when you had to cringe:

     
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  11. Santa Swami

    Santa Swami Soap Chat Supreme

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    "Anyone else here got a termite for a brother?"

    Swami
     
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  12. Rove

    Rove Soap Chat Star

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    At the 5th Oil Barons Ball.....

    Sue Ellen: Look JR. Isn't that the Valentine girl? She doesn't look nearly as trashy in person as she does in those pictures. Jack will you dance with me....

    Jack: Excuse me Jamie.

    JR: (As he looks at Jamie)...arrrm.

    Jamie: No thanks

    JR: What till your asked

    :laughs:
     
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  13. stevew

    stevew Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    My vote for number 1
     
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  14. Walking in a Winter Guzzlerland

    Walking in a Winter Guzzlerland Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    I’m going to go with the maniacal van driver/robber/kidnapper Willie Gust, when surrounded by cops: “You freeze, turkeys!”

    [​IMG]
     
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  15. Santa Swami

    Santa Swami Soap Chat Supreme

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    Sue Ellen to JR, not long after discovering she is pregnant: "After all, I've been just as faithful to our wedding vows as you have, darling!"

    Swami
     
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  16. stevew

    stevew Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    I love this thread because it reminds me that Dallas was really very funny, maybe much more so then all the other dramas before and after. Certainly more funny than anything we see in drama today, taking ourselves way to serious.
     
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  17. Sarah

    Sarah Super Moderator Staff Member Original Member Since 1998

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    rotf

    I love:

    Sue Ellen - I'd rather sleep with a carnival geek than sleep with JR (she's lying of course) ;)

    JR - Why don't you have that new plastic husband surgeon of yours design you a new face? One without a mouth.

    Cliff - What are we talking about here? Two dead fish and a pelican.


    rotf
     
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  18. Jon Ewing Jr.

    Jon Ewing Jr. Soap Chat Active Member

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    What about the time JR comes in looking for the first aid kit talking about Cliff biting him. Also saying he is going to need a shot.
     
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  19. Jimmy Todd

    Jimmy Todd Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    JR sees Katherine outside his office because she's waiting for him.

    JR: Well, Katherine. When did you start hanging out on street corners?

    Another time he's having dinner with Katherine.
    Katherine: I know why I want to see Pam and Bobby break up, but what's your reason?
    JR: I have a special feeling toward your sister. I hate her.

    Larry Hagman knew how to do deliver a line, that's for sure.
     
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  20. Santa Swami

    Santa Swami Soap Chat Supreme

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    (To Ray) "It pays to have Ewing blood in your veins, no matter how it got there!"

    Swami
     
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