Most hilarious lines on Dallas.

Discussion in 'Dallas - The Original Series' started by kenneth, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. kenneth

    kenneth Soap Chat Member

    Message Count:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    227
    Location:
    drammen, norway
    Ratings:
    +205
    That was meant to be serious.

    I will forever shake my head in amusement when Miss Ellie says,

    "Why do men have to be so stubborn?"

    Coming from her of all people that is funny as hell.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  2. Kenny Coyote

    Kenny Coyote Soap Chat Dream Maker

    Message Count:
    1,620
    Trophy Points:
    690
    Occupation:
    Rock Guitarist
    Location:
    Maryland
    Ratings:
    +1,803
    "I can't lose another son." Anytime one of her adult sons moves out she treats it like a funeral!
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  3. Lastkidpicked

    Lastkidpicked Soap Chat Well-Known Member

    Message Count:
    765
    Trophy Points:
    984
    Location:
    United States
    Ratings:
    +1,699
    Medals:
    2
    Member Since:
    2008
    My favorite of all time is on the lead-up to the "who shot J.R." storyline.

    Vaughn Leland is even slimier than usual. J.R. knows that if Vaughn gets in on the Asian oil field deal, then Vaughn will lose his money.

    Vaughn: I've decided to invest a large amount of my personal money in this deal, J.R.
    J.R: Vaughn, I can't think of anybody else I'd rather have come in on this deal.

    BHAHAHAHA! That magnificent bastard!
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
  4. Swami

    Swami Soap Chat Supreme

    Message Count:
    10,962
    Trophy Points:
    5,142
    Occupation:
    Civil Servant
    Location:
    Ballymoney, Co Antrim
    Ratings:
    +9,168
    Medals:
    5
    Member Since:
    April 2006
    Fenton Washburn: "What do you take in your coffee?"
    JR Ewing: "Bourbon"

    Swami
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
  5. Victoriafan3

    Victoriafan3 Soap Chat Well-Known Member

    Message Count:
    708
    Trophy Points:
    2,186
    Location:
    New zealand
    Ratings:
    +2,049
    Member Since:
    About 2005
    “Oh hunny. It was all a bad dream. None of that ever happened”
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  6. Billy Wall

    Billy Wall Soap Chat Active Member

    Message Count:
    252
    Trophy Points:
    174
    Location:
    Buffalo, NY
    Ratings:
    +317
    Lucy to Ray when JR was messing with his country singer girlfriend: “JR’s gonna kill you.”

    As we later found out, JR couldn’t fight his way out of a cotton factory. Lol
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. Taylor Bennett Jr.

    Taylor Bennett Jr. Soap Chat Dream Maker

    Message Count:
    1,615
    Trophy Points:
    892
    Location:
    one of them high rises down in Venezuela
    Ratings:
    +2,883
    of course, for all his lack of physicality, JR did in fact prevail over grizzled manly cowboy Ray via a bop of the head with a phone as Southfork started to burn!
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Kenny Coyote

    Kenny Coyote Soap Chat Dream Maker

    Message Count:
    1,620
    Trophy Points:
    690
    Occupation:
    Rock Guitarist
    Location:
    Maryland
    Ratings:
    +1,803
    This never happened, but the look on JR's face would have been priceless:

    (After Clayton and Miss Ellie marry)

    Clayton says to JR: "Now that your mama and I have married, I'd appreciate it if you would call me "father."
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2019
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Agree Agree x 1
  9. Swami

    Swami Soap Chat Supreme

    Message Count:
    10,962
    Trophy Points:
    5,142
    Occupation:
    Civil Servant
    Location:
    Ballymoney, Co Antrim
    Ratings:
    +9,168
    Medals:
    5
    Member Since:
    April 2006
    JR about Ray: "Well Ray was never comfortable eating with the family. After all we do use knives and forks!"

    Swami
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 1
  10. stevew

    stevew Soap Chat TV Fanatic

    Message Count:
    1,377
    Trophy Points:
    1,194
    Location:
    Michigan
    Ratings:
    +888
    Medals:
    1
    Member Since:
    Jan 2012
    Most everything was pretty funny out of JR’s mouth, even when you had to cringe:

     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  11. Swami

    Swami Soap Chat Supreme

    Message Count:
    10,962
    Trophy Points:
    5,142
    Occupation:
    Civil Servant
    Location:
    Ballymoney, Co Antrim
    Ratings:
    +9,168
    Medals:
    5
    Member Since:
    April 2006
    "Anyone else here got a termite for a brother?"

    Swami
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  12. Rove

    Rove Soap Chat Star

    Message Count:
    2,710
    Trophy Points:
    1,323
    Location:
    Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia
    Ratings:
    +4,480
    At the 5th Oil Barons Ball.....

    Sue Ellen: Look JR. Isn't that the Valentine girl? She doesn't look nearly as trashy in person as she does in those pictures. Jack will you dance with me....

    Jack: Excuse me Jamie.

    JR: (As he looks at Jamie)...arrrm.

    Jamie: No thanks

    JR: What till your asked

    :laughs:
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  13. stevew

    stevew Soap Chat TV Fanatic

    Message Count:
    1,377
    Trophy Points:
    1,194
    Location:
    Michigan
    Ratings:
    +888
    Medals:
    1
    Member Since:
    Jan 2012
    My vote for number 1
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  14. Taylor Bennett Jr.

    Taylor Bennett Jr. Soap Chat Dream Maker

    Message Count:
    1,615
    Trophy Points:
    892
    Location:
    one of them high rises down in Venezuela
    Ratings:
    +2,883
    I’m going to go with the maniacal van driver/robber/kidnapper Willie Gust, when surrounded by cops: “You freeze, turkeys!”

    [​IMG]
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  15. Swami

    Swami Soap Chat Supreme

    Message Count:
    10,962
    Trophy Points:
    5,142
    Occupation:
    Civil Servant
    Location:
    Ballymoney, Co Antrim
    Ratings:
    +9,168
    Medals:
    5
    Member Since:
    April 2006
    Sue Ellen to JR, not long after discovering she is pregnant: "After all, I've been just as faithful to our wedding vows as you have, darling!"

    Swami
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  16. stevew

    stevew Soap Chat TV Fanatic

    Message Count:
    1,377
    Trophy Points:
    1,194
    Location:
    Michigan
    Ratings:
    +888
    Medals:
    1
    Member Since:
    Jan 2012
    I love this thread because it reminds me that Dallas was really very funny, maybe much more so then all the other dramas before and after. Certainly more funny than anything we see in drama today, taking ourselves way to serious.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Sarah

    Sarah Super Moderator Staff Member Original Member Since 1998

    Message Count:
    4,574
    Trophy Points:
    5,636
    Occupation:
    Actress
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Ratings:
    +5,870
    Medals:
    5
    Member Since:
    1998
    rotf

    I love:

    Sue Ellen - I'd rather sleep with a carnival geek than sleep with JR (she's lying of course) ;)

    JR - Why don't you have that new plastic husband surgeon of yours design you a new face? One without a mouth.

    Cliff - What are we talking about here? Two dead fish and a pelican.


    rotf
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  18. Jon Ewing Jr.

    Jon Ewing Jr. Soap Chat Active Member

    Message Count:
    132
    Trophy Points:
    277
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ratings:
    +216
    What about the time JR comes in looking for the first aid kit talking about Cliff biting him. Also saying he is going to need a shot.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  19. Jimmy Todd

    Jimmy Todd Soap Chat Well-Known Member

    Message Count:
    671
    Trophy Points:
    480
    Location:
    United States
    Ratings:
    +1,040
    Member Since:
    2019
    JR sees Katherine outside his office because she's waiting for him.

    JR: Well, Katherine. When did you start hanging out on street corners?

    Another time he's having dinner with Katherine.
    Katherine: I know why I want to see Pam and Bobby break up, but what's your reason?
    JR: I have a special feeling toward your sister. I hate her.

    Larry Hagman knew how to do deliver a line, that's for sure.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  20. Swami

    Swami Soap Chat Supreme

    Message Count:
    10,962
    Trophy Points:
    5,142
    Occupation:
    Civil Servant
    Location:
    Ballymoney, Co Antrim
    Ratings:
    +9,168
    Medals:
    5
    Member Since:
    April 2006
    (To Ray) "It pays to have Ewing blood in your veins, no matter how it got there!"

    Swami
     
    • Like Like x 1

Share This Page