This is my attempt at writing again - won't be a long one but just an idea that popped into my head yesterday. It is not, nor would it ever be, my intention to place Sue Ellen in a position of helplessness, so bear with me while I thrash this one out. It is a storyline that has bothered me since I was a child and writing about it from different angles helps me deal with it. One More Time.... The thunder clouds rolled high above Southfork Ranch, followed by a loud boom which seemed in its own way to predict the day that lay ahead. Briefly pausing to look out of the bedroom window, Sue Ellen stood only to leave a set of documents on the bureau, sealed in an envelope marked for his attention. At the time she knew it had been wrong, but if she'd been able to predict this far in the future, she was sure she wouldn't have let things go this far. Passing by his rustic chest of drawers, designed to his specific and unique taste, she lifted one of his ties, gently knotting it around her feminine fingers, almost oblivious to the hustle of the crowd beginning to gather outside. Her legs were robbed of strength and she sat on the side of the bed, not allowing herself to acknowledge that it was the last place in the world she should be. Also oblivious was she to the approaching footsteps in the hallway. As she sat lost in her thoughts, she was in totally the wrong place to react as the door swung open and his steel blue eyes met hers. Neither spoke. Both almost frozen in time by the shock of seeing the other in such a strange, yet such a familiar place. As his height and body framed the doorway, she had nowhere to go. She was trapped. But she still couldn't sense the danger, and her body still wouldn't move. He observed her. Dressed against the norm in a pair of skin tight, faded blue jeans, flat shoes and and a cotton white shirt, her hair was scraped back into a pony tail, her make up was minimal and her hoop earrings occasionally caught the light from outside. Still, there was absolutely no mistaking her beauty, no mistaking it was her. But was she really here? Was he seeing this? In a feeble attempt to mentally check in with himself and prove he wasn't hallucinating, JR said, almost in a whisper - "Sue...Ellen?" Tears had already started to form in her large eyes as she managed to stand and said, "JR...." He moved towards her slowly. She tried to read his expression looking for any sense of anger but all she could see was confusion. "What....are you doing here?" She snapped back to the present as she watched him, the steps he took seeming to take a lifetime to bring him closer. Her lack of heels making him tower above her. She knew she was vulnerable. And JR could always sense any sort of weakness. He could smell it. And that is when danger occurred. Her gaze fell from his face to his body, the buttonhole in his lapel made from fresh flowers taken from Miss Ellie's garden, reminding her why she was here. He was all set for a wedding. His own wedding. And Sue Ellen felt a painful jab in her heart as to how handsome he was. And how today would finish with him being married to someone else. She had one chance. There was no point - and no time, to beat around the bush. "Miss Ellie knew I was coming - for John Ross. I said I would wait in his room if he needed me, then slip out. I....didn't mean..." "But you just happened to walk across the hall into my room instead?" JR said, his voice and expression a mixture of sarcasm and bewilderment. "Don't do this, JR", Sue Ellen said, almost in a whisper. It didn't come out as confidently or as vocal as she had planned 5 minutes earlier. Not that she had planned any of this. And as the words came out of her mouth she felt like she was watching a tv show, starring them both, and that her alter ego was screaming at her from the couch to not go any further. "What?" JR said. "Please don't marry her." Silence. As if someone had paused them and was waiting on a higher power making the next move as on a giant chess board. "What?" JR said again. "JR!", Sue Ellen said, the tears almost threatening to overpower her. Finding it hard to keep looking at him or to stand still, she moved further to the middle of the room. "Didn't you hear what I just said?" "Oh I heard you alright...." JR said. Now he was getting angry. "You show up here on my wedding day, with no warning...I find you sitting here on my bed...and now you're asking me not to go ahead with the wedding? What? WHY, Sue Ellen Why now of all days?" JR said, his tone now serious, his expression demanding as he walked towards her. Sue Ellen regretted moving further from the door as his height and power commanded every part of her. "Because she isn't pregnant JR!" Sue Ellen exclaimed. JR's eyebrow creased in confusion at her words. "I told her to say that! And now I regret it so much because....because I still love you!" If any words from her were going to stop JR Ewing in his tracks, she had just said them. But after everything that had happened between them, especially with her taking Ewing Oil and practically handing it to West Star last year, JR wasn't in a very forgiving mood. As far as he was concerned, she had put the nail in the coffin of their marriage. Despite that, for once he was speechless. "Tell me you don't love me anymore...and I will never bother you again..." she said, one single tear falling to her cheek. Just at that, Miss Ellie appeared in the doorway, her expression turning serious and tense as her eyes fell on her son and former daughter in law. "Not now you two for goodness' sake!" Miss Ellie exclaimed. "JR get downstairs". JR didn't move but studied Sue Ellen as her eyes moved from Miss Ellie's and back to him, her gaze almost pleading for what she wanted, needed to hear at that moment. "Now JR", Miss Ellie ordered. "Mamma, I...." Sue Ellen took his silence as her answer and walked towards Miss Ellie. "I'm sorry Miss Ellie..." Sue Ellen said, dabbing her cheek. "Please tell John Ross I'm sorry..." "Sue Ellen!", Miss Ellie exclaimed as she watched her run. Again. With that, Sue Ellen took her exit via the balcony stairs and toward her car, to avoid anyone seeing her. Her heart was hurting. Not only was JR marrying someone young enough to be his daughter, but people who had once been her family, including her beloved Clayton, would be standing up there for Cally today. She got to her car, managed to reverse and turn with minimal fuss, and exited down the Southfork driveway at lightning speed and as she had done so many times before. Nothing she had said seemed to have made a difference. Had anyone told her a year ago she would even be uttering those words to him, she would have laughed in their faces. She had set out today to try to be strong and to be there for her son. With no intention of interacting with JR or him even knowing she was there, she had taken the opportunity to bring JR the contracts to the shares of West Star she had purchased and to give them back to him, not only freeing herself of him but giving him back something she should never have had. She thought it would bring her peace. Instead, she had left them on his desk, and been overtaken by a much higher desire. Realising that being at Southfork again and experiencing feelings of losing him as she had only done once before during his relationship with a former model whose name she never uttered. And that hadn't even gotten as far as marriage. She took a chance today and now cursed herself as she turned out of Braddock and on to the highway for thinking that it would have been easy and that he would have just returned her feelings so easily. She had taken the one thing from him apart from John Ross that he could never forgive her for. She should have known better but at the time had no real idea what she was risking. JR didn't see things the way she did and he could never acknowledge the pain he had caused in their relationship. He could only see it from his side. JR stood motionless inside his bedroom, as his mother approached him from behind. "I don't know what just happened JR. But for God's sake, don't let today go further than it has to. I don't want anymore pain in this house". "Yes M'am...." JR managed, shock clearly overwhelming his ability to think straight.