I know what you're saying, but people also have this uncanny capacity to surprise themselves. Just when you think you've figured it all out and you know who you are...bam! There's that monster who abandoned you as a toddler to a drunken murderer. Could it be that there's something so unapproachable about that image that it inadvertently-subconsciously becomes desirable? Or the desire to retroactively change that story and person, because the alternative is too painful?