Useless things the soaps taught us

Discussion in 'TV Central' started by Toni, Sep 24, 2016.

  1. Toni

    Toni Soap Chat Star

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    "Never argue with somebody near a balcony, a staircase or a window (trust us)!"

    #31: FAUX AMANDA DOWN


    From "Revenge"´s "Intuition". Starring Madeleine Stowe, Margarita Levieva, Emily VanCamp, & Christa B. Allen.
     
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  2. Toni

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    "Never let Grandma teach your kids the life lessons (you´d regret it!)"

    #30: THE COKE SIDE OF LIFE



    From TNT "Dallas"´s "Trust Me". Starring Judith Light, Mitch Pileggi & Antonio Jaramillo.​
     
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  3. Toni

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    "Don´t get married without a good life insurance (and don´t drive drunk, too!)"

    #29: CORPSE BRIDE


    From "Melrose Place", "Who's Afraid of Amanda Woodward?" (II). Starring Laura Leighton, Andrew Shue, David Charvet, & Brooke Langton.
     
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  4. Toni

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    "Always wear clean lingerie when dining with your family"

    #28: LUCKY COOKIE


    From "Empire"´s "Out, Damned Spot". Starring Taraji P. Henson, Terrence Howard, & Grace Gealey, among others.
     
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  5. Toni

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    #27: CHARLEY´S ANGELA



    From "Falcon Crest"´s "Charley". Starring Jane Wyman, Mark Lindsay Chapman, and Margaret Ladd.​
     
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    "Keep yourself away from...you know: only Superman can fly"

    #26: DIE ANOTHER DAY


    From "Revenge"´s "Guilt". Starring Amber Valletta & Max Martini.
     
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  7. Toni

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    "Never lose of sight your sons and daughters. Who knows if you will recognize them the next time you meet them!"

    #25: CURSE OF THE RECAST DAUGHTER


    From "Dynasty"´s "The Victory". Starring Karen Cellini, Wayne Northrop, & John Forsythe.
     
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  8. Toni

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    "Go check yourself into the nut factory when you find someone else in your mirror. Only wicked queens have mirrors talk to them!"

    #24: THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES (AND ONE IS NOT MINE!)


    From "Melrose Place"´s "Framing of the Shrews". Starring Marcia Cross & Zitto Kazann.
     
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    #23: AMERICAN HORROR SOAP: ASYLUM


    From "Revenge"´s "Execution". Starring Madeleine Stowe & Emily VanCamp.
     
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    "Offices are not the White House and need no redecorating (trust us)"

    #22: POISON JEFFY


    From "Dynasty"´s "The Search". Starring John James, Kathleen Beller, & Gordon Thomson.
     
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    #21: DEATH BECOMES HER


    From "Melrose Place 2.0". Starring Laura Leighton, Ashlee Simpson, Thomas Calabro, Shaun Sipos, & Colin Egglesfield.
     
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  12. Toni

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    "High heels are not made for country (and design clothes are not made for mud)"

    #20: ROLLING IN THE MUD


    From "Dynasty"´s "Ben". Starring Joan Collins & Linda Evans.
     
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  13. Toni

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    "There´s no greater love than a mother´s love. And yes, love may be blind, but not stupid.
    So beware when your mum just morphs into another woman..."

    #19: ATTACK OF THE MUTANT MATRIACH


    From "Dallas"´s Season 7. Starring Donna Reed, Larry Hagman, & Howard Keel.
     
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  14. Toni

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    "Never use the elevator when a good fall can do"

    #18: YOU'LL BELIEVE A MAN CAN FLY


    From "Melrose Place"´s "Dial M for Melrose". Starring Heather Locklear & Antonio Sabato Jr.
     
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  15. Toni

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    "Does your wife dream of Electric Mink? If so, you better sleep with an open eye..."

    #17: BORN TO KILL


    From "Dynasty: The Reunion". Starring Linda Evans & John Forsythe.
    Note: Go to 24' to see the scene in question...
     
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  16. Toni

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    "Never trust a sister-in-law on the run (or a TNT showrunner). And you bastard, could have tried a little harder to find your missing wife!"

    #16: PAM'S SECRET PRINCIPLES


    From "Dallas"´s "Gone with the Wind". Starring Patrick Duffy, & Barbara Bel Geddes.​
     
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  17. Toni

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    "Never embarrass yourself pretending you can dance when you know they look at you because you wear no undies!"

    #15: SAMMY JO´S DIRTY DANCING


    From "Dynasty"´s "The Party". Starring Heather Locklear & Joan Collins. ​
     
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  18. Toni

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    "Never embarrass yourself pretending you can dance over the tables when you know they look at you because you are a nutcase!"

    #14: ONE MELISSA FLEW OVER THE FALCON CREST


    From "Falcon Crest"´s Season 6. Starring Ana-Alicia, & Lorenzo Lamas, among others.
    Note: Go to 8'50'' to see the scene in question...though the whole video is great!
     
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  19. Toni

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    The countdown continues...

    "If you have to choose between taking a bitchslap like a lady or avoiding it and running away, don´t doubt:
    who wants to be a lady in these days? Run, baby, run!"

    #13: CATS ON MELROSE TIN ROOF



    From "Melrose Place"´s "The Usual Santas". Starring Jamie Luner, Rena Sofer, & Rob Estes.
     
  20. Toni

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    "Never forget asking your husband (or boyfriend) to film you giving birth your child(ren).
    You never know what might happen."

    #12: WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO VAL´S BABIES?


    Starring Joan Van Ark & Laurence Haddon.
    Note: Go to 9'05'' to see "Poor Val" giving birth to her twins, as if all was part of a remake of "Rosemary´s Baby", creepy music and all. Spoilers galore...
     

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