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Watching Season 11 (DVD) for the First Time

Discussion in 'Dallas Season Reviews' started by JROG, Sep 15, 2016.

  1. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    It's all gone. :( I figured I'd restart the thread and repost what I had so far, in case anyone wants to take a look. I miss all the responses!

    Well, here we go.

    EPISODE 1: AFTER THE FALL/EWING RISE

    So, here we are: The P.P. Era. So far, so good. An unremarkable, but otherwise solid beginning to season 11.

    Bobby learns of Pam's horrific car accident and Patrick Duffy is given perhaps the most challenging material he’s ever had to play. When Principal had to mourn Bobby's accident and death, she was gut-wrenching. In this case, Duffy’s limitations are exposed and he is left turning his gaze upwards in silent prayer to God every few words, in a movement that every high schooler does when they want to convey pain and sadness.

    The emotional weight is left to be carried by Miss Ellie first, and then Cliff, who is rehashing all the ancient Digger history once more now that he feels he’s disappointed his father. It helps the show tremendously to go back to that place now that Pamela Barnes is gone. Kercheval gives a wonderfully subtle but effective performance when he learns of his sister’s accident and, to his credit, Bobby becomes very protective of Cliff in those moments. Bobby's level-headedness, however, robs us of the chance to see some raw emotion on his part. DALLAS is not the show that kind of thing usually happens, but this is a massive event. It feels underplayed, possibly on purpose. Furthermore, Bobby is out of character. Had Principal been around to be able to act in the scenes, there is no way Bobby would allow anyone to keep him away from her, much less calmly deal with anyone else who wants to see her.

    Seeing Pam bandaged up was bizarre. It turned out to feel both funny and tragic. The sight of that wrapped up mummy was comical, but the idea of what is happening is utterly heartbreaking. I can’t escape that pit-in-my-stomach feeling.

    I loved the way Miss Ellie dealt with finding out about Clayton by not telling him at all, yet subtly manipulating him into taking it easy. It’s sweet that this elderly couple is given lines about afternoon nap-sex. Later on, Miss Ellie brings perhaps the best moment of the episode, when she overhears J.R. making arrangements to view office space. "I had hoped [losing Ewing Oil] would really hurt you," she tells him, explaining she wanted him to change. J.R. gives her a chilling look when he tells her he’s never giving up.

    So, on goes J.R., looking for new offices, kissing Sue Ellen, playing daddy and buying Bobby a new car. Admittedly, the door to his office is beyond fabulous. And that’s pretty much it. One expects some twist at the end: Yes, we know J.R. is going to start over, but how great would it be if we found out he’s already made a major step towards achieving that and he’s not only looking at empty spaces? Alas, no such thing happens.

    Jenna, Ray, Charlie and Lucas go home. They’re happy and content and barf.

    April's run-in with Wendell's assistant, Wilson Cryder, was interesting (perhaps because precious little else happened). It’s his male assistant, which I find curious in the world of DALLAS. "Are you the top man," April asks with a straight face, "or does Wendell call all the shots?" To make it ‘worse,’ Cryder keeps referring to him and Wendell as ‘we.’ Oh, Wendell. The scene definitely had a creepy vibe to it, although I don’t trust it was anything else than wasting time. We’ll see.

    When J.R. and Bobby meet at the end of the episode, Bobby can no longer hold his tears back. Here, finally, Duffy displays some emotion and his voice breaks as he says he doesn’t understand how all this could happen. It’s a high, sad note to end the episode.

    As always, please no spoilers whatsoever, including hints, clues, innuendo, etc! Unless, of course, I ask for it!
     
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  2. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 2: AFTER THE FALL: DIGGER REDUX

    J.R. is increasingly sounding like a parody of himself. When he tries to buy his first oil field under the new company, he is asked for double the value, and goes off on a "nobody cheats J.R. Ewing" tirade that sounded awfully self-aware. The Ewing Oil sign being taken down was a better touch, although wholly exaggerated with the traffic being stopped and Sly boo-hooing. In other words, J.R. continues talking about the new company and not doing very much.

    Things on the Pam front are much better. J.R. does what we’d expect him to do and figures out a way to get a copy of Pam's will before it’s opened. Of course, it pales in comparison to the lovely second episode of season six, where he so deliciously set up John Baxter. Here, the usual "I got you your job" threat is employed but there are hardly any details given to make it more than a quick plot point. We get a glimpse of the better J.R. later on, when Sly stupidly notes how concerned J.R. is for Pam and J.R. replies that he’s very concerned with her health before he grins slightly.

    Sue Ellen randomly fires the Great Oswald Valentine, thus depriving us of his genuinely funny presence, but Valentine doesn’t exit before delivering one last, marvelously over-the-top freak-out in the way that only he can. Sue Ellen wants to expand the company (but still keeps the huge Mandy poster in her office, because…), so J.R. hooks her up with Helpful Guy, who brings Nicholas Pearce along with him. So this is the infamous Nicholas? He looks dumb. Nicholas wastes no time eye-boring Sue Ellen.

    Hold my earrings – is that bitch April flirting with Bobby while his wife is on her sick bed, burned to a crisp? Bitch, you better take that hand off his bicep! And can we talk about how awful the score is? Just atrocious. Not even the late 80s can justify this!

    Charlie is in a teenager mood. Jenna doesn’t think it means anything, while Ray’s concerned. Oh God, no, please don’t, let’s not.

    Miss Ellie tells Ray about Clayton's blockage and asks for his help in getting Clayton to take it easy. So far, this has been proceeding differently than I thought it would, and much better. There is a truly hilarious part later on, when Miss Ellie charges down the hallway in full apeshit mode, screeching "that stubborn, stubborn old man!" I lost it.

    Everything with Cliff is utterly brilliant. His speech to Pam about how she always took him back and loved him despite the crap he’s pulled, as well as mentioning that everyone else is gone, was exactly the speech I wanted to hear from him, and the show delivered. Meeting Dandy, who reminds him of Digger, and reaching out to him is such a beautiful idea. Very on-the-nose, of course, but I never expected them to do anything like this. And Cliff’s "This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done!" was very funny.

    It’s interesting that, while Bobby deals with Christopher, and Cliff deals with Dandy, a father figure, they have both ended up helping and taking care of others in their own time of need. It’s as if the pain they’re feeling can’t be dealt with, so they are more understanding and empathetic to others, while ignoring themselves, especially in Cliff’s case.

    Miss Ellie's little moment with Bobby was another highlight: "I am so sorry about Pam," she says very simply, yet effectively.

    Pam is in the hospital, wrapped up tightly, when who should show up to vow to get everything she’s always wanted? Katherine!!!! Holy shit. I didn’t think it was possible to still be surprised like this at this level, but there you go!

    DDD
     
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  3. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 3: THE SON ALSO RISES

    Christopher's done a runner so that TPTB can take advantage of going down to Texas as much as possible. It doesn’t occur to Bobby that Christopher might have gone to see Pam, which is probably as dumb as it gets. But Bobby hasn’t reached rock bottom in terms of IQ just yet – that happens when Katherine, dressed as a black widow for no reason, reveals herself to him and he lets her go instead of calling the police. When J.R. chews him over for this decision, it’s completely understandable. At least there are several shots of Bobby's delicious tight-jeans butt, but why does he always drive off without a wallet? At least you can see Ray’s in his pocket.

    I thought Katherine would turn out to be the lady that gave Christopher a ride – wouldn’t it be fun if she did and, in the process, has secretly befriended Christopher? I also realized I completely messed it up – I was convinced Katherine was known to be dead, but that’s all a dream, isn’t it? That dream has fucked me up.

    Speaking of Ray, all he does is hang around with Jenna outside his house… with a newborn baby… in the Texas heat. Obviously, this is to maximize use of location shooting. He then tells Charlie that Jenna is the finest woman he’s ever known. Wow. What a dickwad.

    Sue Ellen suggests to an increasingly fatter J.R. that they skip breakfast and get another meal in bed. I certainly hope that’s not a reference to eating his semen. She then goes off on poor dumb Nicholas Pearce about Mandy, although she still – still – has a huge Mandy poster in her office. What did she expect from poor dumb Nicholas Pearce?

    Later, Sue Ellen is suddenly concerned about Clayton's health. How does she even know? Clayton is so disappointed when Ray cancels their work plans that he dives into his car head-first. I didn’t even know that was possible.

    J.R.’s shenanigans are getting increasingly muddled. He learns somebody has a previously unknown relative but, unless I have forgotten about it, I have no idea who it is. I assumed it was about Pam but we hear no more of this. He later has a run- in with that wonderfully creepy Wilson Cryder (he orders a Vodka Martini…), prompting him to place a phone call to a man named Denault. Denault’s son comes in his place, and the show serves up a premium piece of beefcake in the form of Casey Denault, who is sunbathing in jeans and boots. I wonder if one of the male writers had scripted this scene, would we get such an obvious display? I do love when J.R. gets ignored around hotter men. His reactions are always priceless. After their meeting, J.R. is more assured than ever that he will return to power but does this mean that he will be hanging up Jock’s portrait now? Because he just said he wouldn’t do that until he succeeded and he clearly hasn’t yet. In fact, the whole story is on limbo – it feels like they’re delaying until they figure things out.

    There is a marvelous scene of Cliff sitting by Pam's bedside and telling her about Dandy, which is truly wonderfully played by Kercheval, and it serves to really substantiate Cliff’s fascination with Dandy. But things get weird after this. First, Pam gives us the middle finger. Then, in an utterly ridiculous scene, Bobby visits Pam to find a note saying "I love you both," wedged between her fingers. There is absolutely, 100%, conclusively, irrefutably no way that she could have done this. Bobby cries because it’s all so stupid.

    DDD
     
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  4. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 4: GONE WITH THE WIND

    It turns out Casey Denault’s father was in the oil business – who knew? J.R.’s talk with Casey last episode certainly didn’t leave me with that impression. Casey befriending Jordan Lee and Marilee Stone, while pretending to hate J.R., was fun, and J.R.’s meeting with the field owner from two episodes ago comes into play when Casey is tasked with buying it for J.R. As far as originality, this is all stuff we’ve seen before: The last time J.R. was out of a company, he used a proxy (Holly) to run things through. At least we finally have something happening in the story.

    Apparently Ray is back to being a thoughtful, considerate human being, so he convinces Jenna to let Bobby see Lucas. As soon as Bobby, Jenna and Lucas are left alone, Jenna drops the act and reveals that she only allowed this for Ray’s sake, which doesn’t make sense because she also knows that Ray is hating this and it is causing him much distress. So why not save him for himself and refuse? Later, the poor tormented couple tries to figure out how they’ll move on now that they’ve allowed Bobby back into their lives. Idiots.

    Cliff is stuck playing out the same scenario with Dandy under different circumstances – they argue, Dandy walks out, Cliff is worried. This time, Dandy has taken to making business deals in the name of Barnes Wentworth. When Cliff learns that Dandy is using Pamela's office, he loses it. I like how Pam's office has taken on mythical proportions in Cliff’s life – it’s a space nobody is allowed to violate. Following Dandy’s most recent disappearance, April tries to reach out to Cliff, and she’s the most tolerable she’s ever been.

    It seemed Miss Ellie and Clayton would play the same scene they’ve done for the past three episodes over and over again, but Miss Ellie also reaches her breaking point and tells Clayton to get out, revealing that she knows about Clayton's blockage. Clayton comforts Miss Ellie but rips Dr. Gordon a new one, only to later change his mind: "I’ve been acting like an ass!" he proclaims, in what may be the first time 'cursing' has been done on the show. The most interesting part of the story has been Miss Ellie's unspoken fear: It’s not only that she could lose her husband, but this would be the second time it would happen… and, if she survived the loss of Jock, she might not be able to make it through the same thing again.

    Nicholas is an insufferable little prick, isn’t he? The writing in this story is particularly misogynistic. It’s supposed to be perceived as a ‘no-nonsense’ attitude on Nicholas’ behalf, but all I know is that Sue Ellen, by this point in time, never allowed anyone to talk to her the way Nicholas does, especially not Valentine, whom she would shut down immediately. But, now, because apparently Nicholas Pearce is the hottest piece of ass to ever exist, and Sue Ellen's loins cry out in desperation of him, she’s devolved into playing the little, unsure woman to his big, bad man. Never mind that she made a failing company, Valentine, great already once. No, now she needs to be spoken to like an idiot in order to get help. Oh, and the show won’t stop there, since not only April has to ogle Nicholas, but several women at the airport play out Wayne Mitchell Katzman's fantasy of having multiple women throw themselves at him. Sue Ellen all by masturbates right there in front of the gate. Truly, horribly unsubtle.

    Pam's bandages are removed and she sees herself for the first time. Of course, we don’t see her. Cliff and Bobby have a nice little scene, where they remark that this is the first time they’ve sat down to have a beer together. They decide to pick up Christopher and have dinner. Foreshadowing developments in a lovely scene with Miss Ellie, Bobby fears that Pam may not want to be around them and brings up the change that occurred in Miss Ellie and Jock’s relationship following Miss Ellie's mastectomy, a reference that both shocked and delighted me. This may very well be the first time that story has even been talked about. (Earlier, J.R. also explained his decision not to go to L.A. by reminding Sue Ellen that, following the Calhoun affair, he’s not very welcome in that town. That was great continuity). Miss Ellie tells Bobby to be by Pam's side but, when arrives at the hospital, he discovers the mummy’s done a runner! Oh, bye Pam!

    DDD
     
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  5. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 5: THE LADY VANISHES

    The much derided episode in which Pam disappears is finally here and… well, I liked it. In fact, that’s pretty much how I feel about the entire season so far. It’s not DALLAS at its best, far from it, and the issues are apparent and major, but for the life of me, I don’t understand how this season is any worse than Season 4 (DVD), except that the cast was better and more intact. Perhaps my memory fails me and I have to rewatch S4, which I haven’t done since 2008.

    In any case, except for the fact that Pam keeps writing everyone long letters, her ‘disappearance’ using the nurse and the chairman of Wentworth Industries is exciting and thrilling. All I’ve ever heard for years is that "Pam left because of her appearance" but have you ever seen severe burn victims? If you haven’t eaten, do a quick search. Something like that is beyond traumatizing, and not only physically. I understand Pam's action although I think it’s sad she had to leave her husband and son because she was no longer on contract. But this wasn’t a decision because Pam was vain, which many make it sound like. Am I just too traumatized?!

    Casey succeeds in acquiring the field J.R. wanted and they go out to celebrate. The restaurant appears to be one that put drawings of celebrities on the wall, and they included J.R. and Bobby Ewing, which Katzman of course does a close-up of. The exchange between J.R. and Casey here is great: J.R. subtly warns Casey not to double-cross him and says he’d be disappointed if the thought didn’t cross Casey's mind.

    Interestingly and excitingly, Serena makes a shock return to ask J.R. to help out her man at the tune of $5 million. J.R. claims to say yes because of all Serena's done for him but this seems like something that will fit into J.R.’s return and I cannot wait.

    Jenna and Ray decide to invite Miss Ellie to dinner. Thrilling. OK, I get it, it makes sense in the context of their relationship, but dammit, they have no chemistry. They are one of the worst couples I’ve ever had to sit through.

    Things are a little better with Sue Ellen and poor dumb Nicholas Pearce. Now that another scriptwriter is giving him dialogue, Nicholas has toned down the asshole routine, and comes up with a pretty good way to expand Valentine’s. And it’s all worth it for the truly jaw-dropping look Sue Ellen sports when she signs the paper near the end of the episode. I mean, this is everything:

    [​IMG]

    DDD
     
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  6. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 6: TOUGH LOVE

    Bobby is in a room at Southfork that we have never seen before. Just like that, Bobby decides to put Pam's picture (unseen to the audience) away, because it’s all just too much for him to handle, and is off to a bar to punch some guys so he can feel manly. "Ray, get them!" J.R. says in the episode’s funniest moment. Steve Kanaly then actually lifts tall, beefy Patrick Duffy with one shoulder. Now that’s a man!

    Christopher continues to annoyingly think that Pam left because he’s adopted. There’s much to do about Bobby trying to help him through this tragedy. Shockingly, Sue Ellen makes mention of Kristin and finally acknowledges that she is Christopher's actual aunt – which Clayton also seems to be aware in a very DYNASTY kinda way.

    "You smelly old man!" April tells Dandy, and it’s funny. She does her best to take care of Cliff, but he has no time for her basic ass. Dandy apparently has a field that he believes to be full of oil but Cliff, who is considering going back to law practice, doesn’t want to hear anything about it.

    There are more horrible displays of women drooling over Nicholas: In this case, they cast a female as Sue Ellen's driver, which I am certain has never happened before, so she can tell Sue Ellen and the audience once boring more that Nicholas is SO AMAZEBALLS HAWTTTT). Later, Nicholas is shown having sex with P!nk before setting April up to become Sue Ellen's investor (I like that idea). More eye boring between Nicholas and April ensues. Sue Ellen is jealous once again.

    All is well on the Clayton front: He’s taking new medication and has submitted to Miss Ellie's will. Phew.

    Things with J.R. finally get exciting again. After he buys Walter Hicks’ debt, J.R. secretly forces Serena back into prostitution, so that she will spy on Cryder for him. (No way I believe that – Cryder is gay!). It’s utterly delicious that he would mess up her life like that. In the meantime, he more directly forces Prime Beef Denault to prostitute himself to Marilee ("but she’s so much older than me!" Denault protests). The actual scene is written about as ickily and unsexily as possible but the bit with Marilee asking Denault to bring his "swim trunks" was funny.

    Jenna goes to Southfork to comfort Miss Ellie about Pam but we don’t see it. Why would we? It has to do with Pam and would finally give Jenna something worthwhile to do. Instead, we get Ray joking about Lucas being fat and Charlie mumbling and complaining about something. The show remembers Donna exists! Apparently she hasn’t married Senator Boring yet.

    A Mysterious Lady appears to be following Christopher wherever he goes. Before you know it, she’s holding onto Patrick Duffy’s biceps lovingly and getting a freeze-frame. Mysterious!

    DDD
     
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  7. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 7: LAST TANGO IN DALLAS

    Mysterious Woman Lisa Alden wows dumb Bobby with her tales of loneliness and being directionless, and reveals she took things called "government courses," whatever those are. Then, she picks up all the photos she had developed of her stalking Christopher (I guess that wouldn’t arouse any suspicion?). Is she a pedophile? A kidnapper? Or a well-intentioned stalker? In possibly the absolute worst seduction attempt that ever existed, Lisa goes to Bobby's office and very awkwardly, very inorganically, convinces Bobby to ask her out for a drink. To make matters worse, the music used is one of those very early Dallas scores, as if that would make this any better. Utterly unconvincing.

    Serena tells J.R. that they couldn’t get any useful information about Cryder, who’s apparently married. To a woman? Say it ain’t so!

    Clayton just will not have the surgery. No, he will not. No. Apparently, Dr. Gordon is a "fussbudget," or a "fussbucket," or a "fussfucket," so Clayton won’t have any of it.

    Jenna comes down the stairs and, uh-oh…! The sex sax is playing. That means the much-awaited coital union of Ray and Jenna is finally here! Well, actually, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, because Kanaly is very hot in all his sweaty shirtlessness and Jenna doesn’t utter a single word the whole scene. If only she kept doing that all the way off the show.

    In the meantime, Marilee has been turned into a cheap joke to be made fun off by the show. Funny – all these years, they managed to show how she is without condemning her as a stupid ho at every turn.

    The situation with Pam is getting increasingly worse. Apparently, she hasn’t bothered to even send Bobby a letter since she left. Funny, considering she couldn’t stop writing letters when she was completely incapacitated. It’s just continuous character assassination from that point on, as Pam sends Bobby a power of attorney contract (but can’t send a letter or make a call) and even a boring secretary passes judgment on Pam's actions. All while Bobby nobly and selflessly deals with the whole thing. Gag. The only thing that rings true is J.R.’s reaction when he learns of the power of attorney: His reaction to realizing that Pam is probably never coming back is exactly what you’d expect.

    Sue Ellen supervises a truly gaudy Valentine Lingerie shoot, with that new model Lana or Lara or whatever, when Hot Guy Nicholas Pearce (in case you missed it, he’s hot. Don’t forget) stops by with the papers for the Secretly Ours deal. Suddenly, Sue Ellen is all pissed at him: "Are you getting pushy?" she asks. Now he’s getting pushy, Sue Ellen? "How selfless of you!" she later tells Nicholas, and the music swirls in that way music on DYNASTY did for whole seasons when they wanted to tell the audience something Really Dramatic had just happened… although there was no evidence of it on screen. I’m guessing Sue Ellen's jealous or something and she’s taking it out on Nicholas. Who knows? Meanwhile, Nicholas works on bringing April into his harem—erm, clientele.

    "That man is here again," Jackie says in the episode’s funniest moment. Not unfairly, Dandy tells Cliff that Jackie needs to check her attitude right outta the door. Cliff’s decision to lie to Dandy about his oil field and give him some dignity and hope is the most poignant thing in the episode. It builds nicely, makes sense, despite being a seemingly out-of-character moment, and is very touching. Maybe, for once, Cliff will be rewarded with something good happening in his life.

    The show can’t seem to make up its mind on whether the Oil Baron’s Ball is a week or two away. Miss Ellie says it’s in a week, Jenna says it’s in two weeks. Then, it was a "couple of weeks" ago, but for somebody it’s been "over a week." Well, make up your damn minds.

    Ray asks Jenna to marry him and she hilariously turns him down. Nicholas shows up with, surprise, Lana Skeletor as his date. J.R.’s balls nearly retract when he meets Nicholas.

    The best thing that comes out of the ball is that we finally get to see Mavis again. I wish I believed the show when Mavis and Miss Ellie agreed to do lunch or dinner soon, but I don’t know if we’ll ever see her again. Aside from the fact that the whole ball almost feels like an afterthought, the show refuses to do what it ought to have done: The ball, and ending, should have been a tribute to Pam. Bobby didn’t even have to win, but he ought to have interrupted and made a speech about his darling wife, even if he’s not ready to let go yet. Instead, Bobby skips the ball altogether. He apparently doesn’t feel up to it but he sure feels up to taking some bimbo out on a dinner date.

    Granted, Punk winning is rather sweet and Clayton's sudden heart attack is a nice little twist, but it’s not what should have been.

    DDD
     
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  8. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 8: THE MUMMY’S REVENGE

    Huh? Did they mislabel the episode? There is nothing even remotely close to being a mummy’s (is that what we’re calling Pam now, Show?) revenge in the episode! What the f*** are they smoking? Also, what is it with the show and avoiding showing people at the hospital? The episode opens with J.R. and Sue Ellen once more refusing to be there for a loved one who is dealing with a hospitalized spouse. Bobby learns that Clayton's had a heart attack and he also doesn’t go straight over there.

    J.R. amusingly tells McSween that he doesn’t care about Clayton dying because he never should have married Miss Ellie. He then joins an apparently confused Miss Ellie and does his best impersonation of an empathetic son. "Clayton has a something or other," Miss Ellie keeps saying, despite the fact that she’s not the something-or-other type o’ gal. Miss Ellie gives it to you straight, even if she’s not entirely sure what it all means. This bumbling confused old-woman stereotype manages to weaken the strong Ewing matriarch and simultaneously makes her seem much older than she really is. Soon after, Clayton's all done with his little heart attack and is back home as if nothing ever happened. "So sorry to have been a stubborn Papa Bear," he says to the whole smilin’ family.

    Ray, who apparently knows what a heart catheter is, has been reduced to (uncharacteristically) confiding his innermost thoughts to an annoying 12 year old. Jenna finally acts smart and goes to Miss Ellie for advice on what to do with Ray. Even as it sabotages its future, the show turns to the past yet again as Miss Ellie explains how she only married Jock to save the ranch. When Jenna goes home, she learns that Ray has apparently gone to Washington to be with Donna. Say it ain’t so!

    J.R. orders Harry McSween (who, in recent times, is always written like an idiot, a far cry from his earlier, very menacing days) to find out all he can about Wilson's wife, Kimberly Cryder. The name sounds familiar. "Start with the closet," he orders. Oh, God. You can’t tell me the show isn’t doing this on purpose.

    "J.R., she’s an animal. She can’t keep her hands off me!" And so the killing of Marilee's character continues. Thankfully, when Casey meets with Marilee, the scene doesn’t have quite the same mocking tone as the others have, but that’s because Marilee serves a little plot twist of her own: Now she’s loyal to Jordan Lee and wants to go in on a deal with him. I have no idea if this is good or bad news for Casey. Marilee then says that a minute and 45 seconds is too much business talk and orders Casey to come f*** her. No, really.

    I don’t understand what they’re trying to do with Sue Ellen. This version of her doesn’t make sense. Even as they’re writing an arc all about Sue Ellen's awakening and independence, her 'liberation' as a strong woman of the 80s, they also have Sue Ellen obsessing, practically drooling, over Nicholas, and every single last thing she does this episode is about him: Is he sleeping with April? Is he ignoring her? Does he have something going on with his assistant? Why did he go on a trip? The only good thing out of the storyline is a J.R. and Sue Ellen scene later in the episode, not because of the content, but because it is rather nicely shot from outside the window while Sue Ellen and J.R. talk, giving us a unique perspective, a rare angle, and the feeling that we’re looking in on the Ewing lives.

    April, after another interestingly shot scene with Cliff at a bar, goes to Bobby to get help with her rich-girl boredom. Bitch, I just wish I had your problems. Bobby, of course, suggests she start a company of her own. "Clothes!" April says, very predictably. Why is it that all Dallas women ever want to do when it comes to starting a company is clothes? Horrifyingly, Bobby makes a face after April leaves that says clearly that he’s getting a hard on for her. Oh, no. Oh, hell no.

    There’s a funny little scene where Cliff pays back Dandy’s back taxes to the tune of $15,000. He nearly shits himself. The sight of Dandy looking for the spot to begin drilling was hilarious. Oh, good luck Cliff.

    Mysterious Woman Lisa Alden gets even more Mysterious when she receives a phone call from Someone and moans that she was never warned that Bobby is so nice (his bulging biceps can’t have hurt, either, did they, Mysterious Woman?). Is it Pam? Is it J.R.? Is it Wilson, who secretly wants Bobby? Time will tell! Bobby goes home after a horrid scene that rivals that waterpark thing from a few seasons back and learns that Pam, previously just ignored, is filling for divorce and giving Bobby full custody. Bobby acts all sad. Oh, don’t pretend you care.

    DDD
     
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  9. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 9: HUSTLING

    So, let me get this straight: Because Christopher, a child, thinks that Pam wanting a divorce is because she doesn’t love them anymore (as opposed to, I don’t know, being severely emotionally and physically damaged), Bobby signs the divorce papers? And, then, just to make it worse, he orders the family never to talk to him about Pam again: "It’s a closed subject." WTF? TRASH. If I hadn’t known this was coming, and therefore had ample time to prepare myself, I would have dropped the show right there and then. In fact, I still have half a mind to do so. But, anyway, for now, let’s move on (just like the show).

    "Do you always expect things to go your way?" Wow, Nicholas, look at a damn mirror, will ya? Sue Ellen gives Nicholas the cold shoulder for the whole episode, until he makes one romantic gesture and she instantly dissolves.

    I have to say: April not being interested in Nicholas (at least for now) is great and I liked how Nicholas going after her was the catalyst for April to figure out Nicholas has a Mysterious Past. Interesting. Don’t screw it up, Show.

    Cliff is starting to look more and more like an idiot: All it takes is for Dandy to go "think of ya daddy!" and Cliff melts. It’s nice, but it’s happened 20 times already.

    Mysterious Woman Lisa Alden is actually very pretty. I am enjoying the story, especially since Bobby addresses the fact that she’s way too young for him. I like that he knows that she wants him, isn’t for it, and yet can’t leave.

    Marilee also wants Bobby, and makes a pass at him. "Transparent Marilee," Bobby later calls her. It all leads to J.R. figuring out that Marilee is ready to sell for 70 cents on the dollar. In the meantime, Casey has an admittedly sweet scene in which he checks out a great suite he can’t afford – a combination of charm, sex appeal and a sob story lead the real estate agent to comfort him instead of slapping him for wasting her time. I kept picturing Laura Avery rolling her eyes at Casey before begrudgingly, but politely, telling him that life sucks that way and you just gotta get on with it.

    Bobby and Miss Ellie munch on hot dogs in order to ascertain that he really, truly, genuinely, positively is over Pam.

    Jenna and Ray get re-engaged by a lake somewhere.

    J.R. and Casey 'bump' into Wilson Cryder's beard wife. Hilariously, and somewhat implausibly, following several occasions in which J.R. is ignored as women drool over Casey (including this very scene!), Kimberly has no interest in Casey – she’s all about J.R.’s geriatric ass. Was J.R. hoping for Kimberly to be seduced by Casey and is now just going with what he’s got? Was this his plan all along? Nobody can tell because the writing doesn’t even bother explaining it, but he later tells Kimberly he plans to 'take' her. Kimberly is just nuts, and super weird, and I love her. This is gonna be a mess!

    DDD
     
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  10. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 10: BEDTIME STORIES

    Again, not sure what the title has to do with the episode, but a fairly solid episode it is. Things kick off with a great breakfast scene that wouldn’t be out of place in earlier seasons (if one ignores details of Miss Ellie burping onions throughout the night, which hit too close to home for me) and, the Pam stuff notwithstanding, builds really well.

    Not only have we lost Pam, but Bobby has turned into a complete idiot as well. First, he cuts things off with Mysterious Woman Lisa Alden because she’s become like a surrogate mother to Christopher. He fears Christopher will be hurt in the future, so he hurts him now instead, adding more loss to his life. Later, he basically tells Christopher that Mysterious Woman Lisa Alden is bound to want to hop on his dick eventually, so why not nip it in the bud? In a fantastic twist, Mysterious Woman Lisa Alden is revealed to be Jeff Farraday’s sister!! She came back to take Christopher but not really.

    Things are a little bit better in the Tammy subplot. Except for a Godot mention that comes off as if Duffy had no idea what it means, and Bobby insinuating that he has no idea why Pam left (ridiculous), it is handled much better, and with more sensitivity, than I thought the show was capable of. That Bobby ends up sleeping with Tammy, instead of pretending he’s too noble to do so, makes the story adult and almost modern. It’s a very pleasant surprise.

    The story of Nicholas’ past also proves to be pleasantly surprising. April runs into a dead end in the investigation, but continues to see Nicholas in her attempt to have something to do. Nicholas shows more variety and personality than he ever has before, although he also tells April he may have overestimated her intelligence, so I’m glad April's digging into his past – he deserves it for making such arrogant, condescending remarks. Perhaps the episode’s most emotionally gripping scene comes when Nicholas calls his father and we realize they are in hiding. It may be a witness protection story but Jack Scalia puts in a good performance. I was almost moved.

    Ray and Jenna look at wedding dresses. Whatever.

    "I’m calling for Mrs. Cryder. This is the postmaster general," J.R. says, hilariously. The equally hilarious Kimberly, boosted by a great performance by Leigh Taylor-Young, continues to be fascinating. "I can break away for a cocktail," she purrs. While poor, sexy, sensitive Casey plans his own little coup d’etat, Kimberly tells J.R. that she likes men of power, as the boom suggestively comes into frame like an otherworldly penis. "I will help you destroy Weststar," Kimberly tells J.R., "if you f*** me and you f*** me good." Oh, it’s brilliant!

    DDD
     
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  11. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 11: LOVERS AND OTHER LIARS

    Nicholas, who apparently lives in the shame complex as Cliff, hangs up on Sue Ellen when she calls to discuss business because he’s playing poker. Sue Ellen, now that her feelings for Nicholas are more conscious than subconscious, gushes when Nicholas has the totally original idea of placing Valentine boutiques in hotels, right before she spots J.R. eating Kimberly Cryder's face off in public. You’d think both J.R. and Kimberly would be smart enough to be more cautious. This leads Sue Ellen to order Nicholas into her hotel room so she can run her fingers through his hairy chest. Yeeeeees.

    In the meantime, April begins her seduction of Bobby Ewing in earnest and you can tell the writers want this to happen because all of Bobby's hesitancy and inner conflict is magically gone. Maybe Tammy fucked it out of him. April gets no rest this episode, as she works out in a screamingly 80s outfit, makes a shady business deal with J.R. and agrees to work with Nicholas who, now that a woman is close to calling the shots, suddenly acts like he gotta think about taking April on as a client. God, what a misogynist he is.

    In a DALLAS so devoid of viable female leads, the secretaries are now big players and their feelings, thoughts and concerns basically take center stage. What Jackie thinks of Dandy seems almost as important as what Cliff thinks; Phyllis is worried and has advice for Bobby. It wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t a direct result of having nobody else to play their parts in the narrative.

    Dandy holds his oil workers at gunpoint, forcing them to keep drilling past Cliff’s shutdown orders. Hilariously, they do hit oil, but only a small amount. Kercheval goes to work to make it funny.

    Jenna does something or another but it is mercifully just one scene.

    Mysterious Woman Lisa Alden is very creepy hanging around Christopher if you don’t know her reasons, which of course Bobby and Miss Ellie don’t. Her trying to explain to Bobby that she just wants to be around Christopher makes her sound, at the very least, psycho, but Bobby knows the storyline isn’t over yet, so he doesn’t throw her off the ranch like you’d expect.

    A new player is added to J.R.’s war against Weststar, a doctor named Herbert Anderson Styles, who turns out to be – no, not Kimberly's luvah, but her father. J.R. smiles as he munches on shrimp. Is he gonna sleep with her father too?

    DDD
     
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  12. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 12: BROTHERS AND SONS

    Well, here’s this season’s barbecue episode. Because the show is slowly dispensing with everything that makes it what it is, they don’t name it "Barbecue." It does feature a nice amount of location shooting, however, from the Bobby/April scenes, to real restaurants, and of course the actual barbecue, which is the only time Southfork appears in the episode (except for a Sue Ellen/J.R. bedroom scene). Something similar started happening in MELROSE PLACE’s sixth season – we would see the apartment complex less and less and it destabilized the show’s sense of location.

    There’s a couple of nice twists: Namely, Cliff and Dandy finding natural gas instead of oil, and Nicholas and Sue Ellen did not end up having sex. Even more surprisingly, when Sue Ellen tells Nicholas she lost her mind around him, Nicholas doesn’t say, "It’s not the first time that’s happened with a woman!" or something equally putrid.

    The Ray/Jenna High Drama continues as they discuss making a gesture towards Bobby and having their wedding in Ray’s house. After all this thrilling melodrama, Jenna dresses up in a stupid pink dress and marries Ray, before mercifully going the f*** off to their honeymoon. I’ve never seen a more depressing wedding before.

    Bobby does something interesting when he considers going into the development business: He realizes he is still an oil man at heart. I’m not sure how true that is, considering he’s gone into other businesses before, but I suppose they had to get him to change his mind somehow.

    April is not only stupid, she’s dangerously selfish as well. After the private detective’s life is threatened if he continues looking into Joe Lombardi, she… keeps looking into Joe Lombardi. She’s about to f*** up Nicholas’ life for no other reason than that she wants to – and the show treats her like a heroine! Nicholas understandably tears her a new one in front of an impressive building.

    Casey plans to steal Brinker Oil from J.R. and has nasty limo sex.

    J.R. and Kimberly have fascinating talks about animals and the jungle, but at least Kim is age appropriate for J.R., which helps make it work. Funnily enough, Cliff later jokes about this very thing, bringing to light J.R.’s incredible ability to have very young women interested in him. Sue Ellen meets Kimberly at a DOA meeting (another woman hilariously tells Sue Ellen something that amounted to "we just can’t believe you did something successful!") and, at the Barbecue, appears to be plotting some revenge. Yummy.

    The barbecue itself comes suddenly, without any preparation save for a throwaway line from Miss Ellie, and attempts to serve up some drama. Booger #2 has learned that Bobby is Lucas' father, which means we’re in for some thrilling Booger angst, Dandy has a truly idiotic misunderstanding with Cliff and tries to shoot him (as you do), Sue Ellen covers her breasts with tissue paper, and then Mysterious Woman Lisa Alden appears and serves Bobby with custody papers. It all happens too fast and too generically, but Bobby gives good shocked reaction and on to the credits we go!

    Was that Brad Pitt that I spotted in the first seconds of the preview? Maybe a Charlie scene will be worth looking at from now on…

    DDD
     
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  13. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 13: BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE A CHILD?

    "Is it because I’m adopted?" – Christopher "Adopted" Ewing, 1987.

    Oh, this is as good as post-season 10 DALLAS has ever been so far!

    The Barbecue moves to the fake set. We are quickly distracted from this atrocity with a Punk and Mavis sighting. They want Miss Ellie to get involved in a DOA project – a good idea, especially if it means giving Mavis some more airtime (I won’t hold my breath).

    Meanwhile, Bobby is dealing with the fallout from Lisa Alden’s custody suit (he deliciously decides to bribe her off the show) and Christopher's incessant whining. Yes, Show, give us more adolescent angst!

    And that’s what they do: Ray and Jenna return from their honeymoon and catch Charlie, a normal, developing teenager… kissing a boy!!!!!!1111!! She was kissing. a. boy!!1!!111!. From their reactions, you’d think somebody had just hung himself in their living room. To make it worse, Jenna is sporting a horrible haircut. I mean, it’s basically offensive how ugly it is. But Brad Pitt is yummy as f***. I hope he’s a bad boy.

    The show continues its heavy-handed attempts at making April sympathetic. Not only does Nicholas apologize to April for the fact that she’s looking into his past (!!!) but April is crying her eyes out because she wasn’t invited to the barbeque. Um, OK. "Poor little rich girl!" Nicholas mocks and, yes, oh yes, I actually like him now!

    Sue Ellen's quest for revenge is wonderfully delicious and reinvigorating. It does feel like it has come a little too late, but Sue Ellen having learned from J.R.’s tactics and using them against him is wonderful drama. Linda Gray goes to work on that thrilling dinner scene with J.R., Cryder and Kimberly, grabbing onto the meaty, complex material she has been given and, for the first time in a while, it feels like she’s playing Sue Ellen again, and not Linda-Gray-as-Sue-Ellen. It’s so good, I even forgive the show for the sight of J.R. in a short bathroom robe.

    The dinner scene could have easily been the highlight of the episode if it weren’t for Miss Ellie and Cliff’s meeting at the park. Following Dandy’s ridiculous attempt to kill him, Cliff has come to realize that maybe Digger was just as stubborn and confused about the situation with Jock. While it continues the over-sanctification of Jock, the scene still manages to leave a hint of suspicion that Digger had a point while resolving the Barnes/Ewing feud. It is a seminal moment and such a wonderfully written and acted scene. Thankfully, Cliff does not magically decide that he doesn’t hate J.R. anymore (that would have been too Season 9 of him!) and the real stunner comes when Cliff wishes Pam could have been there to see him now. It’s a tearjerker of a moment, and so, so sad.

    The show sets up a storyline for Clayton. I have no idea where it’s going, but it’s promising.

    Interestingly (or perhaps annoyingly, I can’t make up my mind), Ray shows some jealousy regarding Bobby and Jenna. I’m not sure where this is coming from, since he was the one who just recently insisted that Bobby become his best man and that he get involved in their lives, but it somehow works that Bobby is all muscle-y and sweating, looking quite dashing among the rest of his relatives, and Ray always did have low self-esteem….

    Lisa turns down Bobby's attempt at paying her off. It is a real surprise that J.R. is in the apartment, waiting for her. At first, you think he broke in to scare Lisa off, but the show manages to deliver a second genuine shock when it reveals that J.R. was behind this all along! It’s a wonderful twist and a gasp-worthy moment!

    DDD
     
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  14. Karin Schill

    Karin Schill Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Thank you for doing this and welcome back. :)
    I love reading your awesome reviews of the seasons. It's great to see a first time viewer's reactions to it all.

    You know the first time I watched this I didn't know he was Brad Pitt. Since Randy was young and good looking but Brad Pitt was old in my eyes. I only found out like 6 years later or so that Randy was Brad Pitt and when I did I went :lmao:
     
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  15. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    Thank you! I appreciate that. I'm really sad I never got around to saving my older threads... now I guess they really are lost forever!



    LOL! Poor Brad Pitt. He was only 24 when he did DALLAS!
     
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  16. Presea

    Presea Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    It's funny how I was thinking that I hoped this would come back today! Glad to see these again! They are as funny as hell! Don't know if you'll do the earlier ones, too. But if you do, it would be a chance to fill in the episodes that weren't in some of them, as well as the earliest seasons. But as for this episode: That scenes with Charlie's boytoy are both hilarious and ridiculous at the same time! I wish that Lisa had taken Christopher! He was so annoying here! More ridiculous April scenes. Jeez, April! Since you're so rich now, why don't you just buy yourself some friends if you're this lonely!? The Cliff stuff was okay, I guess. He was finally able to tell the difference between JR and the rest of the family. I don't know why Ray is so stupid. Umm, hello! You got what you wanted buddy! The world's most boring marriage! Being jealous of Bobby just makes Ray look like an annoying teenager!
     
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  17. Miss Texas 1967

    Miss Texas 1967 Soap Chat Active Member

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  18. Matthew Blaisdel

    Matthew Blaisdel Soap Chat Addict

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    Just found out how to view past first page, just add for example "page-3" at the end of the adress.
    But not all pages are available.
     
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  19. Ray&Donna

    Ray&Donna Soap Chat Addict

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    This line could be part of a DALLAS drinking game! If you wanted liver failure, of course.

    Please don't hold your breath--we would miss you!

    HAHAHAHA :lmao:

    Oh God, I remember cringing when I watched this.

    For me, the J.R. and Sue Ellen storyline is the only redeeming quality of this season.

    Yes, it was nice that, after populating the same show for 250-plus episodes, Miss Ellie and Cliff finally got to have a one-to-one scene. It also didn't hurt that they were two of the show's best actors.

    Sadly it's not. :confused:

    Sigh. Once you are paired with that, it's sadly inevitable your storyline with start to stink.

    Of course. :p Glad you are back from Mt. Olympus, mon ami! :cooler:
     
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  20. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant! THANK YOU Miss Texas for finding those!! And Matthew for how to switch pages. I had saved everything from Seasons 8-11, but now I have most of Seasons 6 and 7 as well! So thrilled! Now I'm only missing 4 and 5. How do I go about finding seasons 4 and 5?
     
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