Watching The Colbys for the First Time

Discussion in 'The Colbys' started by JROG, Sep 19, 2016.

  1. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 1: THE CELEBRATION

    THE COLBYS premiered on JROGTV and brought with it much soapy excitement ("God, it's SO much better than DYNASTY, already!"). With the advantage of having set up most of its storylines over several episodes on DYNASTY, the show is afforded the rare opportunity to jump right into the juicy stuff, not something soap operas often can do (unless they eschew setting things up properly). Granted, I presume anyone not having watched DYNASTY prior to this could be a little confused, but who cares about them? (DYNASTY sure didn’t).

    Almost to outdo its parent show, THE COLBYS starts off with helicopters and proceeds to that fabulous mansion, the great cliff-side club, the offices are beautiful, just opulence-opulence-opulence.

    But the cast and characters are working, too. By the end of the hour, I already have a certain soft spot for them, which certainly is very promising for the future of the series.

    Stephanie Beacham was a bit of a puzzle. I thought she did some marvelous work as Sable on the other show, but here there was something a little off about her performance. It was very intense and bordered on OTT on several occasions. However, who can resist the fun of her passive aggressively talking with Connie about the inheritance she gave Jeff?

    Speaking of Connie, what lovely fun that she has a secret lover. I can’t imagine a 200 year old woman ever getting a story like that on network TV these days.

    Even Bliss (who I thought I would HATE) turned out to be fun. Granted, Jason delivered a nice little burn when he mentioned all of Bliss’s previous boyfriends, but I’m hoping they’ll put her to good use.

    Jeff fits right in. There’s something re-energized about him. While he received some terrible stories on the other show for the recent years, his presence here is welcome (if not his hairdo).

    Ricardo Montalban – interesting but let’s see where this goes.

    Fallon and Miles’s trip back is perhaps the weakest, or least interesting, part of the premiere, but hey – he spends considerable time being half-naked and I think that’s all that matters. It’s a genuine little surprise when Miles and Fallon barge into the Colby living room and announce they’re married. It was all building up to that pretty nicely but the ending is ruined by some really awkward, incredibly prolonged stares from all involved and Jeff looking like he suddenly isn’t sure if that’s Fallon. Bitch, you thought it was Fallon all the way from the window, suddenly you’re unsure?

    Other than the UFO, I know nothing of the show’s plotlines, except that Stanwyck leaves but not when or how. So, let The Colbys commence!

    DDD
     
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  2. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 2: CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE

    Oh, nice title. The awkwardness of the previous cliffhanger notwithstanding, Fallon's amnesia is handled well as we pick up right where we left off, even if the fact that none of the Colbys recognize Fallon requires huge suspension of disbelief. There’s a hilarious little scene in which Connie calls Dr. Parris at two in the morning and chastises him for answering the phone. There is always a sense with Connie that she’s lived, that she’s seen, done and knows things. Following Dr. Parris’ session with "Randall," he advises the Colbys to pretend she’s not a cyborg with a British accent so the plot can last. Oh, Samms is so horrible here but some good chemistry with James and little moments with Jeff save her. The one who cannot be saved is Caulfield who, following several episodes on which he was required to have charisma and generally be a sweet, nice guy, now perhaps is finding the demands of his scenes a bit too much. There is criminally no Garrett Boydston at all in this episode, whose intense presence and charisma is missed. But Sable… oh, Sable is delicious here. Her first reaction to learning that Randall is Fallon is that she’s happy Miles married a woman with such status. Following the amazing Frankie's arrival, Sable takes her out to lunch and tells her she’s glad Frankie married Phillip so Sable was sparred being with such a man. Things get really juicy when Zach starts to hit on Sable (who, despite herself, seems to be biting) and we learn that Jason and Frankie may have a teeny tiny little thing going on between them. Blake visits (which was spoiled because I watched the corresponding DYNASTY episode first, which apparently I shouldn’t have), shares a couple of nice moments with Fallon and then returns to Denver to totally lie to Alexis about how “bad the scene” was when he confronted Fallon in order to justify Collins’ abstinence from all things California related. Jeff gives Fallon a kiss on the cheek and then stands in shock at how bad Caulfield’s acting suddenly became. All this and the Colbys have a hot stable boy!
     
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  3. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 3: MOMENT OF TRUTH

    The episode opens with some beautiful shots of the long Colby Enterprises corridor—it just seems to go on and on and on. Jason's really, really dying. I don’t believe it for a second. Because nothing says joyous festivities quite like a death sentence, we jump to the Colby thanksgiving dinner, our first dinner-table family scene (I believe). It all crackles with beautiful, fun family dynamics and overt soapiness, as several storylines collide in various ways.

    It’s followed by a beautiful poolside scene with Jeff and Monica (what is it with Jeff and his wet cousins? It’s as if the show is trying to somewhat make up for the fact that John James is out of limits as a romantic partner for them). The directing is beautiful here, too.

    I love the way Miles is being written. While his portrayer has been a consistent letdown, Miles sudden decision to go to Hawaii, as well as his subsequent efforts to impress Jason by taking the Powers proposal to him, all form a fun portrait of a young, rich stud that still has a lot of insecurities and a lot to prove and learn.

    I can’t get over Jason popping a bottle of champagne at 3am. What opulence! Sable’s "Shame on you! Imagine having a party and forgetting to invite me!" is classic.

    Sable spends the episode scheming and manipulating everyone else on the show. Sable may be as subtle as a tank in Tiananmen Square, but at least she tries. First she tries to convince Miles to get Fallon pregnant. She takes the same cause to Fallon, who, shockingly, stands her ground and refuses to have a baby unless she gets her memory back. Then again, she also refused to marry Miles unless she remembered, and we see how that went…. Sable then sets her sights on getting rid of Jeff, but Connie interferes (I get it now. Sable is Alexis and Connie is Krystle. I wonder if we’ll get a Sable/Connie catfight, even if Connie is 250 years old). The sibling rivalry between the Frankie and Sable intensifies as Sable makes it clear she will not let Frankie come between her and Jason.

    Jason goes to see Sean McAllister. "Nice to meet you. Excuse the fish," says Sean, in what is perhaps the best introductory line ever written.

    I finally get it – Zach Powers is Nick Toscanni! Zach's continued manipulations are a delight to watch.

    Jason learns he really, really isn’t dying, to no-one’s shock, and has some fun by pretend-shooting his doctor and his doctor’s lawyer. Oops, too late, Sable already thinks he’s dying. Jason explains all to her. It’s not the moment of truth, but a moment of truth, nonetheless! Sable makes Jason promise there will be no more secrets between them and, in a gorgeous moment, Jason promises while looking at the blooming flower Frankie gave him earlier, and then stares at the distance, already having betrayed his wife. That was really very KNOTSian of THE COLBYS. If DYNASTY and KL ever got together and had an illegitimate baby, that would definitely be THE COLBYS.

    Miles Shirtless Count: 1.

    DDD
     
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  4. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 4: THE FAMILY ALBUM

    Well, that didn’t take long at all—we open with a shirtless Miles snoozing. For no reason other than that she’s a boring weirdo, Fallon is sleeping with the Diamond Necklace From The Past in her hand. Who does that? The Diamond Necklace From The Past puzzles and tortures amnesiac Fallon until Miles (smiling like a little kid) gifts her with a Necklace From The Present. Sean wins bonus points for living in a beautiful boat set (shot on location, too!). I thought they had forgotten all about him, but Hutch makes his triumphant return in this episode. The gathering storm looms in Connie and Hutch's relationship because he asks her to go away in an RV. "In that piece of crap?" Connie demands. "Never!" Dominique literally barges into her first COLBYS appearance and something really fun happens: The show uses Monica's dissatisfaction with her father’s chauvinistic pig tendencies to make the two allies and have Monica work for Dominique. Fun! I found myself very much liking Beacham in this episode (is she settling in?) as Sable decides to make Connie seem mentally incompetent so she can undo the Jeff thingy. L.B. comes from DYNASTY to torture us on this show as well. Frankie has the appropriate reaction to this and cries. Through some way I did not comprehend (probably because I zoned out), Zach "outfoxes" Blake and Jason (Blake's word, not mine) and now, whoops, they have to make a deal with him! Ha ha. Just as Sable begins to entertain thoughts of sampling a piece of Spain. Miles and Jeff's love affair, erm, feud, intensifies. "Look into my eyes, tell me what you see!" Miles demands. I didn’t think it was possible, but he’s gotten worse since last episode. "You want me to anally destroy you?" Jeff responds. Well, it’s either that, or it’s nothing. In a nice little surprise, Garrett is revealed to be the one buying Dominique's stock, in hopes of getting into her stock, uknowwhatimean? Something to do with corporate foreplay or something. In a lovely ending scene (minus some acting here and there), Fallon discovers she is Fallon, yells at Jeff and Miles, gets into a car and drives off. This bitch really needs to stop driving off in a hurry every time there’s a little trouble in her life.

    Shirtless Miles Count: 1

    DDD
     
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  5. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 5: SHADOW OF THE PAST

    After weeks of speculation, Frankie hilariously explains giving Jeff away by saying something to the effect of "I had to!" i.e. not really explaining it at all. Nevermind – Jeff and Frankie soon make up when Sable’s scheme to make Connie appear senile (or have her break her neck, I’m not sure which) goes wrong and it is Frankie who falls off a horse after riding fast for a few minutes. Hilariously, this looks like it was shot in the same location where Krystle heartbreakingly had her own horse ‘accident,’ resulting in the loss of her baby, which was also caused by the show’s main villainous bitch. That field must be the Bermuda Triangle for Horse-riding. Bliss has a random freak-out about being the only Colby child that’s not special. That’s definitely right – Miles is plenty special. Adam has a surprise first scene with Zack, in which Zack says, "I don’t go through the back door," with much naughtiness and innuendo. Miles disappoints the masses, not only with his acting, but by having just a single shirtless scene in the whole episode. Monica leaves Colby and moves into her very own Red Room at Titania Records. She is introduced to sexy Neil Kittridge in a scene that confusingly comes off as both flirtatious and rapey. Speaking of rape, useless ass Fallon gets pumped full of truth serum and remembers that a man raped her the night she ran away from Denver. Before I have time to ponder whether I hate this retcon or like it (because it would help make more sense of Fallon's insanely stupid runaway bride shit), Fallon goes home, sees Adam, and promptly calls him her rapist! Oh, the scene has nice music and, admittedly, it’s a terrific ending, although for some reason Thomson smirks at the end of his close-up, which could mean one of two things: He’s a nasty, insane rapist who enjoys the reaction Fallon had to seeing him (she fainted) or Thomson was tired of the 10-minute long close-up he was forced to do and broke. In any case, this is almost certainly a false reveal because we all know Adam doesn’t rape his sisters – he rapes the maids.

    Shirtless Miles Count: 1

    DDD
     
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  6. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 6: A HOUSE DIVIDED

    Adam stays around long enough to have one of those super gay DYNASTY fistfights where you can’t tell whether the men are trying to beat or f*** each other raw. This is the second episode in a row that starts with Jason having to break up a fight between Jeff and someone else. Fallon does some psycho regression and unfortunately says "there’s a fire in the fireplace" again, because once wasn’t enough. Long story short, Fallon's amnesia, run-inducing headaches and even her paralysis are all attributed to Fallon and Adam's flirting when he first came to Denver in season 3 of DYNASTY (which I vaguely remember. I think. I don’t know). What confounded poppycock! I mean, I’ve heard of reaching into a show’s past to excuse/create story, but this is something! Just like that, Fallon's cured of her amnesia but nothing can cure Miles’ acting, who freaks out because he sees Fallon and Jeff hugging and then acts like a child angry that he’s not getting dessert. To my shock, Fallon stands up for herself and is not a complete wimp. In fact, she doesn’t even faint when Miles starts yelling at her, a considerable achievement for Fallon. Of course Sean is in cahoots with Zach Powers… it’s an even better twist that he turns out to be his uncle. Both Sable/Zach and Jason/Frankie proceed nicely. Especially the stuff with Sable and Zach at the restaurant is interesting. The final scene is fantastic: Jason reacts hilariously to learning that Connie has a secret luvah and, when Sable suggests declaring Connie mentally incompetent, he grabs her wrist and then walks out. Sable yelling after him before the freeze frame is classic stuff.

    Miles Body Count: 0.5

    DDD
     
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  7. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 7: THE REUNION

    The reunion of the title refers to Fallon finally getting together with L.B. and Blake – which, of course, she has done before, but now her incest-fueled amnesia has been cured, so it’s for realz. Too bad that a recast and insipid writing make what otherwise could have been a great moment between Blake and Fallon feel completely empty, especially because Fallon says things like "you used to stroke my hair on the big, friendly bed." Like, wtf is that even supposed to mean? None of the drama around Fallon is ever going to work because Fallon is a non-entity. She complains that having Jeff and Miles both in love with her is too tough – wait, the woman who used to handle a whole football team (and who knows who else?) can’t deal with this? Later, Jeff utters the biggest lie told on the show so far: "Fallon hasn’t changed that much! She’s still an independent woman!" Fallon? The one who faints every time someone breathes? It’s a cosmic joke! Other than a brief part where Fallon talks to Alexis on the phone, the only one who gets it right is Connie, who during an altogether brief but lovely scene with Fallon gives her good advice and then tells her, "And don’t ever run away again!" Thank GOD somebody finally told her!

    Blake crosses over and starts shaking and forgetting things. Last we saw of Blake on DYNASTY, he had just started getting poisoned by Rita, which would explain all this only if the audience was watching both shows. Considering the Rita storyline has never factored into the Colbys, and we haven’t even seen the effects of the poisoning on DYNASTY at all, why is this happening here?

    One has to love the ridiculous exaggeration the show is prone to: Garrett (finally!) brings Dominique a different kind of flowers than she expected and she proclaims him to be “outrageous”!

    At least both Colby daughters are involved with really handsome men. Sean's beauty is especially blinding. Miles stops by Monica's to have pizza and champagne (thus leading to Hutch and Connie imploding when Monica confronts Hutch and accuses him of being a dirty cowboy) and then something interesting happens to Miles (which is a rather shocking thing to say): While he is pushing Sable away and asserting his independence from his mommy, he gets caught up in Jason and Frankie's love affair, thus pulling him into Sable’s world even more than ever before. Too bad that Caulfield, who is elevated when in scenes with his mum, really can’t deliver any of that.

    Miles Body Count: 1.5

    DDD
     
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  8. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 8: FALLEN IDOL

    Miles shocks the masses by playing tennis with his shirt on. Is that even possible? In fact, he remains clothed for the entire episode. What is this, the Twilight Zone? Connie's interactions with her family members continue to be highlights, especially when it’s with someone like Monica, who doesn’t get them often. Fallon, looking like she came straight from the set of CATS, accidentally kisses Jeff, leading to much nose flaring from Miles. After spending the night not having sex with Jason, Frankie pulls a Laura and drives off in her car crying. Zach and Captain Livadas are successful and Colby Enterprises becomes responsible for an oil spill, but Livadas is having no more of Zach's blackmail. I am at least happy that, for once, the casting and accent for a Greek person feels right. Speaking of accents, the show subtly explains away Frankie's accent as well, in a way that actually makes sense. When not passionately talking about art with Miles and Zach, Sable manipulates Frankie into getting the hell out of California. It is so much fun. The three best lines come from three different men in this episode. "You’ve worn that suit two days in a row. You’re slipping!" Miles tells Jason in perhaps his only cool moment on the show so far. "You’re younger than you look!" Hutch says to Monica when she goes to him to apologize. Who knew Hutch could be so shady? And, "Careful. You’ll freeze your drink!" says a sassy blind man to Monica, which is such a camp thing to say for a man in some rustic dive. I like how the place looks like something straight out of the worst bar in DALLAS when the scene starts and, by the time a blind man’s singing a love song, it’s transformed into a KNOTS LANDING club. Connie tells Jeff that Alexis may have a letter that could help her case. Surprising she didn’t remember this earlier. After walking out on Sable ("There’s nothing here to save!"), Jason decides to go to Frankie in London. "You don’t have a son!" Miles overreacts (just in case he didn’t fill his nose-flaring quota for the episode). Again, one could make the argument that, aside from Jason being an idol for Miles, Miles’ behavior is also informed by the fact that he’s dealing with his own triangle from hell and can’t stand to see what is happening to him happen to his mother. In any case, Jason barely musters up enough shits to give so that they can get a random freeze frame.

    Miles Body Count: 0 (!!!!)

    DDD
     
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  9. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 9: THE LETTER

    Uh-oh. It’s usually bad news when there’s a letter involved and, in this case, there’s three!

    "Miles, that’s crazy!" exclaims Fallon, in perhaps her least self-aware moment ever. Miles turns rapey there for a second but Fallon… yep, you guessed it, runs off. At least, this time, it’s justified.

    Neil and Monica flirt and argue over dinner. This feels sudden, as if we’ve skipped a couple of beats. All they’ve ever done is yell and scream at each other every time they’re together. There’s been attraction underneath, yes, but it doesn’t justify why now they are in a romantic, dimly-lit restaurant, leaning close and openly flirtatious with each other. Neil is so impossibly handsome, however, that it doesn’t matter. Monica doesn’t seem to care either, as she lets him kiss her, before going ahead and signing Wayne the blind cowboy singer to Titania. I never thought I’d say ‘blind cowboy singer,’ but here we are!

    Guess what? Roger proposes! There’s been so little time devoted to him, that this serves exclusively as an obstacle to Jason and Frankie's great love. Sable is definitely relieved to hear of her sister’s engagement, since Miles all but told her that Jason went to LONDON to find Frankie. When Jason returns to L.A., he takes a chopper from the airport (I love this detail) to the office, because why not, and learns Captain Livadas has returned to Athens. The mystery continues: Will Jason ever pronounce Livadas’ name the same way twice?

    Things get seriously good in NEW YORK, where Sable is trying to acquire a Matisse in hopes of fixing her relationship with Jason. To no one’s surprise, it is Zach who buys, and their penthouse late-night supper scene is as beautifully directed and visually stunning as it gets on the show. From Sable and Zach holding champagne flutes and staring at each other, to Sable in front of the fireplace or leaving with her fur dragging behind her, it invokes a strong sense of old-Hollywood glamor, in a way that, ahem, other shows never manage to capture. Watching Stephanie Beacham act her ass out, often with far lesser scene partners, is fascinating. Her instinct for soapy melodrama never fails.

    boring Barbara Stanwyck spends the episode scrunching up letters, one after the other. It’s like she has an agenda. First, it’s the letter to Hutch that she viciously attacks. Then, when Adam delivers the letter that will literally save Connie's life, Connie crumples it up with no care in the world. To say nothing of the letter that reveals (Gasp! Shocker! Wtf?) that Jeff is not Phillip's child (I don’t believe you, Show).

    The last few moments are brilliant. Connie, suspecting that Sable has something to do with the sudden parentage reveal, runs after Sable and gets herself run over by Sable’s car. Sable cries as she wishes that Connie survives (whether this is because she truly regrets running her over or because she fears that this will make her lose Jason forever, we don’t know) and then discovers the third letter, which Connie tries to burn forever but failed. She reads it and freezes. It’s an exciting, unexpected turn of events.

    Miles Body Count: 0.

    DDD
     
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  10. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 10: THE TURNING POINT

    Man, how accurate this title turned out to be! Not only can this title be applied to nearly everyone in the episode, but it seems to hold true for the show itself – it’s getting better and more exciting by the minute! Fallon actually manages to make sense when she advises Jeff to go to Frankie and find out the truth. Jeff kisses her, thus causing her to finally make a decision and ask Miles for that annulment he offered her. Nose-flaring ensues. The flirtation between Neil and Monica is smart, fun, sexy and snappy. They get grounded in San Francisco and share a hot sex scene. It’s interesting that, instead of Bliss being desperate for marriage, it’s Sean who’s begging her to do the deed. Showing that he is not only impossibly beautiful, but brave as well, Sean goes to Jason and asks his permission to marry Bliss. "f*** off," Jason responds. The mother/son relationship between Miles and Sable is fantastic – those two complement each other so well. Miles takes his shirt off long enough to change into his best bar-fighting sweater, as he helps Jason figure out who else helped Zach and Captain Livadas. As far as soap fights go, this one’s pretty good, and the bar is moodily photographed. "Don’t let Powers realize we’re on to him!" Jason orders, so naturally Miles tells the bartender to send the bill for the damages to Zach Powers. The way Sable finds out about Jason and Frankie is marvelous. So unexpected and yet so organic. Miles also gives Sable the idea to use the letter boring Barbara Stanwyck failed to burn (no worries, Connie is doing well after a concussion and brain swelling) to hurt Jason and Frankie. When Jason rejects Sable’s over-the-top gold nightgown candlelit supper seduction, Sable twists and points her fingers, almost as if she’s a witch and casting a spell, and promises that Jason will eat his words… YAS!

    Miles Body Count: 1 (we missed ya!)

    DDD
     
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    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 11: THURSDAY’S CHILD

    Serious shit goes down in the episode (someone please explain the title to me). Sable tries her luck with Jason one more time before telling him about Phillip's letter. I love the way she tries to seduce him in the bathtub—she’s got style. "That tramp, that slut!" she screams. I also really enjoy the frequent ColbyCo meetings in Jason's office, even if Heston seems to have checked out. Wayne the Blind Country Singer is so dramatic but there’s a sweetness to him and Monica that juxtaposes violently with Neil's intense jealousy. Monica appeases Neil, although I certainly hope she hasn’t lost all her spunk now that they’re together. She used to fight him when he got this way. Hutch and Constance are also sweet together, but I’m not sure where else this story can go, dramatically speaking. Late life pregnancy for boring Barbara Stanwyck? Miles is starting to come off as a psycho, although I’m certain the writers are only intending him to just be… angry, but it all works out because he rapes Fallon when they are about to sign annulment papers. It’s totally unnecessary and ruins him character-wise. But I was glad that Sable, though she defended Miles, went straight to her son and asked him what the hell he said to Fallon. Why does Jeff have a framed picture of Fallon and L.B. with him? How pathetic! But John James gives a surprisingly marvelous performance in his second scene with Frankie—where did that come from? As we all knew he would, Jason tells Bliss about Sean and Zach's connection. Bliss cries in that ridiculous, Star-Trek-Cum-Cyndi-Lauper bedroom of hers, and then heads off to slap Sean. Sable then slaps Zach and Zach slaps Sable. And let’s not even touch the "Greek" scene in Livadas’ apartment. Too hilarious for words, although their accents in Greek were adequate enough. And just when I’m thinking that Jeff has to be Jason's child, Jason asks Frankie just that! The fact that Sable is doing all that work to prove Jeff isn’t Phillip's in order to get rid of him, only to have him turn out to be Jason's, is delicious.

    DDD
     
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    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODES 12 & 13: THE PACT & FALLON’S CHOICE

    The show is improving with each episode – at this point, they’ve certainly surpassed most of what DYNASTY has done since season 3. Concurrent to this, Fallon finally gets a spine and stands up for herself without crying much. In the meantime, 12 episodes after leaving DYNASTY, John James seems to finally relax and become more natural in his performances – he’s even genuinely sexy at times. The writers literally use L.B. as a plot point to bring Jeff and Fallon back together and just as quickly heal him from meningitis – but it doesn’t matter because it works. The twist that Neil has a wife was great, but then it took forever for Monica to confront him about it. What’s happening with Miles is confusing. I can’t tell whether the writers are genuinely turning him into a villain or if Caulfield simply lacks charisma and talent and makes difficult material even worse. You know, Caulfield would be perfectly cast – if he could act. But I do like mother Sable and son Miles scheming behind everyone’s backs. Dominique comes to town to open a previously unmentioned club, but at least the lighting for those scenes was great. Putting a stop to Sable and Jason's divorce by having Sable use the letter to make a pact with Jason was inspired. I like that it looks like Miles may get into trouble for Mahoney's death. Bliss is pass. Big YAS to boring Barbara Stanwyck going back to work at Colby Enterprises… this should be fun! I wish I cared for the torment between Jason and Miles.

    DDD
     
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    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODES 14 & 15: THE TRIAL & BURDEN OF PROOF

    Man, has this show taken off or what? They went with such an unexpected route with Jeff's parentage and it’s paying off in spades. "You slut!" Sable yells at Frankie in the middle of a posh consulate party, and it’s hard not to feel for her – if Frankie was portrayed by a stronger actress, this might have been more even. Miles pursues his vendetta against Jeff by taking the case to court and it leads to explosive drama, which hilariously starts off with the Judge in the case looking dreadfully bored. Not for long, I presume: After Frankie stalls to an inch of her life, the shocking revelation that Phillip was sterile is dropped on us, thus confirming that Jason has to be Jeff's father. Then Frankie stalls even more, to the point that it becomes painful, and the building reveal, anticipation and even music all work fantastically well together. Jason has enough and stands up to announce he fathered Jeff, after which he spends the majority of the episode running around begging his family members. Oh, it’s fantastic climax. The idea to have Sable confront Jason with his riffle was inspired (even if Jason running after her and kicking down the door was comical at the very least). For a second there I wondered if we’d have "Miles Does Workmen" – it practically writes itself. What a missed opportunity. Every major beat gets covered – Jeff/Frankie, Jason/Miles, Jason/Sable, Jason/Frankie, Connie/Jeff, Jason/Jeff, Connie/Sable, even Sable and Bliss – it’s all one long succession of explosive confrontations and discussions, what soaps do best. In the meantime, the younger generation spends time being utterly stupid: "We won’t make love until we’re married!" Jeff says, and I gag. Um, hello, you even have a child together? Can we not? "What would happen to me?" Fallon says when Jeff is worried about leaving her alone. "The house is full of people!" It also was full when Miles raped you the first time! "Mother, what’s changed?" Bliss, who has gotten back with Sean for no reason, asks, following the revelation that Jason cheated with Sable’s sister. Um, what do you think changed, Bliss? How clueless can you be? The ending is fantastic: Creepy racist stalker Miles confronts Jeff at the beach house, which of course would end with one of them falling down the cliff. That turns out to be Jeff and, for once, Miles’ crazy face is so appropriate and so right for the scene that he finally gets a good moment! What’s next for Jeff? Amnesia? Paralysis? A couple of scratches? Don’t tell me! And, please Lord, have Miles arrested for murder! That would be fun.

    DDD
     
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  14. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 16: MY FATHER’S HOUSE

    It turns out that Jeff's literal cliff-hanger was just a ploy to end the previous episode excitingly, which I pretty much suspected. Why have consequences when we have cooing between Jeff and Fallon that needs to get done? No matter, but the resolution is truly ridiculous with Miles climbing down cliffs, taking Jeff from behind – I mean, lifting him up—and Jeff not even bothering to get a check-up after tumbling down a damn cliff. Everything with Sable is just goddamn irresistible. I loved her looking at the phone receiver with disgust when she realized Frankie was on the other end and then hanging up without another word. When she realizes the best way to hurt Jason is to go after the house, Sable puts on a truly impressive act as she innocently asks Jason to make it a part of the deal. Watching her play Jason like this is exquisite. She then heads off to Zach's moody apartment and very nearly has sex with him but changes her mind. It’s pretty interesting, surprising material, and it makes you feel for Sable even more. Of course, boring Barbara Stanwyck has set a private eye on Sable and Sable did appear to spend the night with Zach…. Monica changes her mind about Wayne's tour while Wayne is making a creepy statue of her, but it has nothing to do with anything. It’s starting to become a problem – she seems like she doesn’t even exist on the same show. At least Monica had one scene where she talked with Jason about the revelation. Bliss isn’t even anywhere to be seen (not that we need to…). Frankie continues to suck. Oh my God, does she suck. L.B. is getting storyline so that means something horrific is about to happen. In Soapland, one just does not see the kids unless they are about to serve as a plot point. In Falcon Crest, Lance suddenly shows interest in Joseph and plays with him, but that’s only because Joseph's about to take a bunch of pills and serve as the cliffhanger to the episode. In Dallas, we sit through John Ross and Christopher playing because Christopher is to find a gun and almost kill his cousin. In this case, Jason tries to form a bond with his grandson because he is to be kidnapped/disappear, whatever the case may be, as long as there is a cliffhanger to tide us over. "Oh my God," Fallon says as if she’s just realized she forgot to pick up 2-in-1 shampoo at the dollar store. That little fucker’s probably in the garage or something, hiding because he broke Jason's watch. It’s pretty obvious stuff, but I gotta admire their determination to keep it going with the cliffhangers and I admit I am hooked to see what’s next.

    DDD
     
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  15. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 17: THE OUTCAST

    The search for L.B. is on! Miles runs through basketball courts. Jeff looks over the pool. Staff checks to see if L.B. is at the bottom of a pond (that’s a nice detail). Heston runs around out of breath. Even the weather is being dramatic, since it’s raining in California! Tears of sorrow, of course. But L.B.’s doing just fine, he’s at the attic! All is well in Colby-land.

    "I’ve been running away ever since I was old enough to open the front door," Fallon says. Now that staying in L.A. and getting married at the Colby mansion means creating family conflict, Fallon is all about staying right where she is. The news spreads like wildfire over a succession of fun scenes (from Jason/Jeff all the way to Sable/Fallon) and it is commendable that they’re getting so much juicy stuff out of a mere wedding location. "You’re doing this to get back at me for raping you!" Miles says as if that’s an indictment of Fallon's character. Everyone has something to say about it but nobody points out that Fallon and Miles’ marriage wasn’t actually annulled and, up until recently, Miles swore to never give Fallon a divorce. Oops. I guess it happened off screen?

    The best storyline of the show so far, Jeff's parentage, is resolved when Jason learns that, apparently, some judge somewhere has officially ruled Jeff a Colby. But that’s not the end of Jason's problems: Garrett advises him that a divorce with Sable would be very costly.

    In the meantime, following another beautiful Sable/Miles scene, Sable agrees to an affair with Zach, provided that they are very careful. boring Barbara Stanwyck gets it all on tape. She smiles, looking like a vampire who’s just spotted her pray.

    Dominique comes to town to tell Monica that Neil was innocent all along. Monica apologizes to Neil, which is fine, because he’s handsome and I want him around, but then he makes it a condition that he become her co-director. Eeeeew. I guess having a woman run things wouldn’t last too long, would it?

    Very interestingly, Miles turns to Zach for help regarding the suspicions that have befallen him about Mahoney's murder. Zach agrees to help in exchange for Miles’ silence about him and Sable, but I have a feeling that this will come back to bite Miles on his beautiful, muscular ass.

    A drunk Miles crashes Jeff and Fallon's engagement party (Blake and Krystle are too busy with their own show to attend, while nobody bothers explaining why Alexis isn’t there) and threatens to humiliate them publicly but backs off when he notices Fallon's tears. Who would have thought that Miles would develop into one of the most fascinating characters on the show? Fallon drops all the faux-virginal crap and sleeps with Jeff, while creepy rapist stalker Miles watches through impossibly thin curtains (what is even their purpose? You can’t see the outside through the curtains but you can see inside?!). The episode ends thrillingly as he twists Fallon's scarf in his hands, promising to never let Fallon go. Actually, I wish he’d strangle her.

    DDD
     
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  16. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODES 18 & 19: THE WEDDING & THE HONEYMOON

    Building up to the dream wedding, the show displays a fascinating array of one-on-one scenes between various characters. Miles and Fallon, Miles and Monica, Jason with his sons, Sable and Frankie ("Don’t be the last one to leave!" Sable tells her sister after she’s agreed to her presence at the wedding). We are introduced to Zach's (step?) son, and it was about time that Ray Wise showed up – if Ray Wise doesn’t show up, has your soap opera really happened?—before Miles goes to Zach for help in getting out of the murder mess he’s in. Dominique, quite surprisingly, apologizes to Jeff for all the times she inexplicably insisted Fallon was dead and tries to discourage him from finding her. And boring Barbara Stanwyck gives Fallon the world’s lamest gift from a filthy rich person.

    After the show makes lame excuses about why Alexis and Krystle can’t attend (something about fog in Denver), Jeff and Fallon's wedding day arrives. The wedding is shot through a cheesecloth—glamorous!—and Fallon attempts her best flamingo impersonation for the event. But, in any case, they get married.

    The real exciting juice is after Jeff and Fallon leave for their honeymoon. Why, yes, yes, YES, Miles is arrested for murder! It gives Caulfield the chance to make even more hilarious faces and it gives Miles some of his most thrilling material yet, as he admits that he’s not sure whether he did, in fact, do the killing. Sable reacts passionately to this, Beacham doing some of her best work of the season during Miles’ arrest and its aftermath, as she tries to protect Miles from even himself. In the meantime, Miles’ rape of Fallon remains in the background, causing Miles to question himself even further and Sable to misunderstand Miles’ previous words as having to do with Mahoney. It’s thrilling stuff.

    Jeff and Fallon spend the whole episode being annoying happy, a honeymoon full of silly celebratory happy happy lovey lovey scenes that are unconvincing and unearned, and about as generic as they come. Jeff could not be more of a white douchebag, could he? Even Sean's tiny little car and the looks the whole family gave Bliss when she walked into the living room were more amusing than this dreck. It does pick up, however, when Jeff and Fallon are assaulted by the appearance of a Black Woman, who wants to be all fun and games about telling the future until she sees BLOOD!!!! and PAIN!!! in Fallon's palm. Good, I love when that happens.

    Miles manages to be somewhat less self-destructive during his bail hearing and gets released – only for Jason to learn something dramatic about Miles being all over the murder weapon which could mean his prints or … it could not, if he’s into that sort of thing, you know?

    DDD
     
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  17. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODES 20 & 21: DOUBLE JEOPARDY/A FAMILY AFFAIR

    For no reason whatsoever, Sean and Bliss break up, for the second time in the season. Presumably because of the lack of dramatic potential for the story. Still, the show seems to recognize something in Sean, for it gives him an unexpected, big goodbye scene to wrap things up. Bliss promptly runs into her next storyline when she meets the incorrectly named Spiro. It’s a thrilling prospect, although I don’t know why she’d even look at him twice. And I’ll be very surprised if Spiro isn’t somehow behind the Mahoney and Livadas murders (don’t tell me!).

    Frankie finally does something interesting when she runs into a cynical divorcee while off on an island somewhere and they talk about men and such.

    In its most audacious move yet, the show has a second main cast member arrested for a murder he did not commit at the same time as the first one. It’s so beyond delicious! I can’t recall any other example of a soap doing this, and certainly, if they had, it would have felt over-the-top. Here, it makes perfect sense with the story and characters at hand. Jeff's arrest brings on the very interesting development of Miles and Jeff bonding over talk of the law and being Jason's sons, thus making their rivalry feel more real and poignant than ever. Miles even manages to be funny when he does an impression of Jason and Sable.

    This story faces heavy competition by the utterly riveting situation between Jason, Sable and Zach. Sable’s manipulation of Jason is subtle yet effective, while Zach's demands border on blackmail – and aren’t any less effective. Meanwhile, boring Barbara Stanwyck sits on that audio recording for the fifth episode in a row, doing nothing with it, which is simultaneously frustrating and terribly exciting – when will she use it? How will it all come out? Maybe she won’t? It’s wonderful. However, Connie doesn’t miss her chance to stir the pot by insisting that Frankie move into the Pool House of Rape and Doom. Frankie feigns the necessary faux-refusal before basically rubbing it in Sable’s face, but promptly leaves again when she decides to go with Jason to Greece to talk to the witness that claims Jeff killed Livadas. In perhaps one of its best end-of-episode cliffhangers yet, Jason and Frankie find a perky Sable already onboard the private jet they were taking to Greece, acting as if she has no idea what a big deal this is. The freeze-frame catches Frankie rolling her eyes – that’s right bitch, keep rolling, maybe you’ll find a brain back there somewhere!

    DDD
     
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  18. JROG

    JROG Soap Chat Well-Known Member

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    EPISODE 22 & 23: THE RECKONING & ANNIVERSARY WALTZ

    Jason, Sable and Frankie's trip to Greece is wonderful. Sable mercilessly taunts Frankie throughout, expertly portraying the thoughtful sister, while underneath she is seething. The trip pays off when Jason is able to exonerate Jeff, which of course plays wonderfully into Sable’s fear, anger and jealousy over the situation with Jeff and Frankie – Jeff is OK, but her son is still in peril. We also learn that it was Jason and Sable that put Corfu on the map!

    In a brilliant move, Miles, after his and Monica's MTV-music-video-looking trip downtown fails to jog his memory, goes to Parris, Healer of Amnesia, to get help in remembering whether he’s a killer or not. It doesn’t work, so a desperate Sable decides to provide him with an alibi.

    Meanwhile, in what feels increasingly rare for the show at this point, Connie's return to work hasn’t been explored; they have basically done nothing with it, and it feels like wasted potential. Perhaps sensing this, boring Barbara Stanwyck decides it’s time to get things moving and plays Sable and Zach's Sex Tape for Jason. Jason makes random faces as he keeps replaying the tape (a nice detail), while Sable plans a secret anniversary party and hilariously pronounces Mahoney as "Mah-HOO-nee".

    "Anniversary Waltz" is particularly funny, with an array of witty, surprising lines for various characters. "A costume party, and we all come as happy people?" Miles asks, and it might be the smartest observation he’s ever made. "It makes me nervous when [Sable] gets warm and friendly," Bliss (another dumb rock) twitters. Jason and Frankie's faces, on the other hand, when they walk into the Colby mansion and realize what Sable’s put together, require no words.

    But it’s not all fun and jokes. The show has turned seriously thrilling and sexy. After some stupidity with surfing and Bliss making the papers for it, Spiro and she have nasty apartment sex. When Spiro walks back to the bedroom after he spoke to Bliss’ father, who had no idea his daughter was naked a few feet away, it is a dark yet oddly exhilarating moment – the kind only soaps can pull off.

    Wayne makes a bunch of totally serious puns about being blind before leaving the show (I think. Don’t tell me). And I want Neil's wife, Gayle, to be a psycho from hell (Don’t tell me).

    Continuing their deepening connection from previous episodes, Jeff and Miles prove that Miles did not possess the murder weapon at the time of Mahoney's death (sneaky writers!) and then excitedly hug, before going off screen to f***. Oh, don’t deny it, their sexual chemistry is on point!

    Fallon is, like, totes sure she’s pregnant!

    The serious juice of the episode comes when Jason, tired of Sable’s attempts at saving their marriage, plays the tape and confronts her. The strings turn murderous as Sable realizes what she’s listening to, and perhaps their best-acted scene follows, as Sable alternates between tears, anger and threats, and Jason's anger melts down and he pleads with Sable to let him go. This is certainly Heston’s most genuine moment of the series so far (if not the only). Sable runs off to Zach's yacht, where the show dabbles into creepy sexiness once more when Zach has Sable wear the dress she was wearing when he first became obsessed with her and then has her strip for him.

    Jason and Zach's confrontation is genuinely scary. There’s something about that dark background behind the actors and the way it’s filmed, you know something major is happening – what you don’t know is who it’s going to happen to, until Sable runs out and gets shot in the damn head!

    "You killed her!" Zach says, as is obligatory for cliffhangers, and cliffhang we do!

    Utterly delicious.

    DDD
     
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  19. Matthew Blaisdel

    Matthew Blaisdel Soap Chat TV Fanatic

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    Thanks so much, JROG! You are the best! :D
    Because of efforts like that, this place starts to feel home again! :kiss:
     
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  20. Willie Oleson

    Willie Oleson drilling for soap

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    I agree. Thanks JROG for keeping our favourite TV family in the spotlights!

    xx

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