I'm planning a romantic meal for two tonight. First of all, I'll light my red candles and sprinkle some rose petals on the table. I'll have a shower about an hour before I plan to eat and then about 15 minutes before, I'll pop over to KFC to get a couple of Zinger Tower Meals with a litre of Pepsi. For dessert, I'll buy a couple of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. To drink, a bottle of Blue Nun.

Then, after we've eaten, maybe some dressing up sex games.

 

I know what kind of sandwich that is.

 

Roast beef dinner.

Swami

 

Wash your mouth out with soap, young lady. I've never heard the like.

 

Then yer livin' in a box.

 

Cooked ham, beetroot and tomato.

Swami

 

Don't you cheek me, my girl.

 

I'm absolutely fuming. They said on that Tesco ad that every Tesco steak is matured for at least 21 days. I bought one a while back and left it on a plate on the kitchen table to let it mature for another 21 days so that it would be twice as tasty. When I went to cook it, the thing was rancid with flies on it. In the end, I only ate half of it and threw the other half away.

 

Salmon salad, salted caramel yogurt, watermelon.

 

Sweet and sour pork.

Swami

 

Haslet
Breaded Ham
Sable Grapes
Peppered Salami
212g Roast Pork and Sage and Onion stuffing
Hand Carved Honey Roast Ham
Toffee flavour yogurt
Vanilla flavour yogurt
200g Turkey
6 Pork and Herb Sausages
Duck Breasts in plum sauce
Banana and Custard Yogurt
Strawberry Yogurt
Raspberry Yogurt
3xAlbert Bartlett Baked Potatoes
Mango and Passion Fruit Yogurt
Apricot Yogurt
Carrot, Broccoli and Kale
Salad Bowl
2 x200g bars of Dairy Milk
400g Raspberry Ripple Ice Cream
Orange Fruit Lolly
Blackcurrant fruit lolly
Fruit pastille lolly
2xSpiral fruit Lollies
Neapolitan Soft Scoop 846g

 

If you use an ultrasonic wave emitter pest repellent, it keeps the flies away. If they get in through the window, they stay on the window, sick and they don’t move.

 

Baby potatoes, gammon steak and stuffing.

Swami

 

Sliced parsnip, added olive oil, salt & pepper, cooked in the oven for 25 minutes. Served with crispy spring rolls and new potatoes.

 

Potato slices, sausages and baked beans.

Swami

 

Macaroni and cheese and vegan pulled pork, loaded mashed potatoes, yams. Lotsa carbs!

 

Vegetable soup.

Swami

 

Pitepalt

 

Mashed potatoes, roast beef, stuffing and garden peas.

Swami

 

Cooked ham, beetroot and tomato.

Swami