...that is, aside from the systemic Static Acting Directive implemented with Season 3 -- if you can distinguish between them. I'll go first: Linda Evans -- as the series droned on, she began to bark her lines neurotically; she would frenetically shake her head when she talked in a kind of automated faux devastated manner. The Cure: just breathe in and relax Joan Collins -- she would begin a line with vim and vigor but seemed to lose focus before the end of the sentence (if she didn't have this quirk, she might have been seen as a great actress). The Cure: just recall Shirley Jones rebuffed your romantic advances Heather Locklear -- initially had elocution problems until Alexis paid to have her adenoids out The Cure: have Tommy Lee remove those adenoids in his own special way Jack Coleman -- delivered all his lines through his teeth, temples perpetually pinched The Cure: take a purgative Helmut Berger -- mumbled his lines like a gay corpse The Cure: rent yourself out to Club Necrophile where Marlon Brando can inject you with his seminal talent Ali MacGraw -- always attempted an alluring and mysterious demeanor while never managing to deliver even one of her lines convincingly. The Cure: get shot in the head in an obscure European principality.